Review: "The Avengers"

This review was originally published in my column at Towleroad...

If Agent Natasha Romanoff can interrupt an espionage interrogation to attend...

If Thor can find a way back to Earth without his rainbow bridge...

If Tony Stark can stop erecting enormous arguably phallic odes to himself for a moment...

If Captain America can get back in shape now that he's out of deep freeze...

And if Dr Bruce Banner can come out of self-imposed exile to join Marvel's THE AVENGERS, than I really ought to be able to review some movies again. Let's go.

After roughly four years of movie-length commercials for The Avengers (formerly known as: Iron Man 2, Thor, and Captain America: The First Avenger) "Earth's Mightiest Heroes" have finally assembled. To fans of the superhero genre, this probably feels like an impossible dream realized. To non-fans of the superhero genre this might play like the perfect time for a showstopping climax -take a bow and give mere mortals some movies again! The latter group should brace themselves. This particular blockbuster is lively enough to greenlight an even bigger movie family of men (and hopefully some women) in tights. MORE AFTER THE JUMP...

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That Linking Feeling

Go Fug Yourself riffs hilariously on a photo of Noomi Rapace & Charlize Theron at the Prometheus premiere. Guldbagge!
Film Studies for Free "all that pastiche allows" looks at Far From Heaven, All That Heaven Allows and other examples of pastiche
The Kid in the Front Row discusses "the scene that made it all worth it" in Friends With Kids. I still haven't seen this one but love the cast. Same deal with Salmon Fishing... What's keeping me?
Liz Smith on all that's riding on the product known as Jeremy Renner who'd rather be "a good human" 

The Guardian Darth Vader and son. Tee hee
Indiewire wonders if Matthew McConaughey could be an Oscar contender for Magic Mike. I wish I had done a post about this last week. It occurred to me and I even wrote a wee note about it on the supporting actor page but my then original thought will now be lost in groupthink.
Clutch have you heard this shady catfight rumor re: Michelle Obama vs. Kerry Washington?
Metro on Kathleen Turner still touring with the play High. Love this quote from her on her many health problems and continuing on through all of them. I wish one of my other favorite actresses [ahem] felt similarly committed to her gift:

There has been a lot of work that had to be done to be able to continue and carry on and I can’t imagine not being able to act. It’s what I set out to do when I was a kid and I love it so much... I know that I would find another work for myself if I really couldn’t (act), but until I’m completely, physically incapable of acting. I am not giving it up.

Cinema Blend has a gallery from the digital artist TXE (name?) which illustrates 93 (!) characters from the Game of Thrones franchise
The Mary Sue has a piece on actors who have starred in multiple franchises. "Get Over It"... I know most people enjoy this but I can't be the only person who hates hates hates the same actors starring in everything? I am too much of a polyamorous film slut? I need some variety up in here! I really do. I don't like the idea of Storm being Catwoman and Iron Man being Sherlock Holmes and so on. 

Randomness: Here is the new poster for Rust & Bone. J'adore Jacques Audiard movies. I mean Read My Lips, The Beat That My Heart Skipped, A Prophet...

What a roll, huh?

If Rust & Bone is as good as those it'll be one of 2012's highlights for sure.

offscreen just for kicks
Monkey See "I died on the Titanic" a personal memoir 
Boooooom shows you impossibly tinyfood sculpture
The Mary Sue animal mating rituals described in humanoid cartoons. Isabella Rossellini is surely sporting wood reading this.

Captain the Second (and Hugo Awards. No, Not That Hugo)

The Hugo Awards for science fiction were announced over the weekend. While they mostly focus on literature, they do have one film prize. And the nominees are...

Best Dramatic Presentation (Long Form)
Captain America: The First Avenger, screenplay by Christopher Markus and Stephan McFeely, directed by Joe Johnston (Marvel)
Game of Thrones (Season 1), created by David Benioff and D. B. Weiss; written by David Benioff, D. B. Weiss, Bryan Cogman, Jane Espenson, and George R. R. Martin; directed by Brian Kirk, Daniel Minahan, Tim van Patten, and Alan Taylor (HBO)
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2, screenplay by Steve Kloves; directed by David Yates (Warner Bros.)
Hugo, screenplay by John Logan; directed by Martin Scorsese (Paramount)
Source Code, screenplay by Ben Ripley; directed by Duncan Jones (Vendome Pictures)

Here's a full list of the nominees if you're looking for reading suggestions. 

The Captain America nomination reminded me that another Captain America film was announced for April 4th, 2014 in case you plan two years in advance for your ticket purchases. Titling this one could be challenging. Imagine it: Captain America: The First Avenger... Two!  Captain America: The Second Avenger? I kid. Obviously they'll just go with Captain America 2... because the Marvel Cinematic Universe doesn't get all Batman/DC creative with their titles.

What excuse will they come up with to get the good Captain's shirt off this time? He doesn't have to do any more super serum transformation. Pity. Bonus points to whoever comes up with the best plot point for disrobal in the comments.

Summer 2013 believes in the intricate body suit

While we're on the future blockbuster topic, after the jump is the summer calendar for 2013 and beyond...

Click to read more ...

Box Office: Dolly & Queen vs. Cher & Xtina?

I would have been all about Joyful Noise this weekend, had I not been suddenly ill. I even had to miss a bestie's birthday dinner. Boo! I think it's worth noting that Joyful Noise had a nearly identical debut to Burlesque in 2010.

Opening Day
Burlesque (11/24/10) | Joyful Noise (01/13/12)
Weekend Gross
Burlesque $11.9 |  Joyful Noise $11.3
Weekend Rank
Burlesque #4 | Joyful Noise #4
Theater Count
Burlesque 3,037 | Joyful Noise 2,735
Per Screen Average
Burlesque $3,934 |  Joyful Noise  $4,148

Given that Burlesque opened during holiday craziness (lotsa movie-going) and Joyful Noise opened in January's dumping ground, you might have to hand this battle to Joyful Noise. But will it be able to beat Burlesque's final gross of $39.4 domestic / $89.5 international? I say this with the caveat that I have not seen it yet but from the stills and trailer it certainly looks cheaper than Burlesque production wise so perhaps it'll turn out a much tidier profit. I can't imagine that it's better than Burlesque though. But we shall see. Or rather I shall see the second I feel like venturing out into the cold again.

poll by twiigs.com

Takeaway: $11.5 million opening weekends are the new decorative fanciful glass ceiling for dueling multi-media singing divas.

BAKERS DOZEN (Estimates)
01 CONTRABAND  $24.1 new  
02 BEAUTY & THE BEAST 3D  $18.4 rerelease  
03 MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE -  GHOST PROTOCOL $11.5 (cum. $186.7)
04 JOYFUL NOISE  $11.3 new
05 SHERLOCK HOLMES: A GAME OF SHADOWS $8.4 (cum. $170)
06 THE DEVIL INSIDE $7.9 (cum. $46.2)
07 THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO  $6.8 ($87.9)
08 ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS: CHIPWRECKED $5.8  (cum. $118.7)
09 WAR HORSE $5.6 (cum. $65.7)
10 THE IRON LADY $5.3 wide (cum. $5.9)
11 WE BOUGHT A ZOO $5.2  (cum. $63.6)
12 THE ADVENTURES OF TINTIN $4 (cum. $67.7)
13 TINKER TAILOR SOLDIER SPY  $3.1 (cum. $15.1) 

Talking Points
• Beauty and the Beast had a successful first weekend but nothing compared to The Lion King. I hate rooting against such a great movie but the whole 3D craze? Oh, I hate it more and more each month. Do. not. want. I do not want to wear glasses while watching movies. I just don't. It never adds enough to the experience, even in its best moments, to justify changing the whole freaking experience of the movies. GO AWAY.

• A Separation continues to fill its theaters but it has yet to expand. Are SPC letting their tiny window on this one close? Let's suppose someone watching this week's awards shows (BFCA thursday & GLOBES tonight) wanted to see it after Thursday's win and tonight's possible win? Nope. They're out of luck. Just 6 theaters for this one in its third week. Carnage finally expanded in its 5th week but interest in it looks to have already crashed. Too bad it didn't open when competition was less severe for all-star adult-oriented films.

• Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows just lept-frogged The Help and Bridesmaids on 2011's top box office chart. Now, the top dozen have no originals among them - only franchise movies allowed at the top of the charts. This is why we can't have nice things and it's also our fault as audience members. We need to stop chasing old highs at the box office. Seeking out familiar experiences is what television series are for. That's their whole raison d'etre, the same characters each week but with new twists on the same old via new chapters. That's not what movies should be for. Different strengths and different purposes for different mediums.

What did you see this weekend?

Box Office: Ethan, Sherlock and Alvin Return

The newish Sherlock Holmes franchise was down from its first go around and the news was even worse for The Chipmunks in their third attack on the box office. Those high pitched rodents were off 50% so maybe we can safely bury this franchise?

I could have put a picture of Alvin and the Chipmunks here. Thank me!

The big story was crowded houses in limited release for the return of Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise) in Mission: Impossible 4. (The four is silent or pronounced "Gost Pro•toh•call".) I'm eager to see it myself, not because of that prologue to The Dark Knight Rises that's attached in some theaters but because... director BRAD BIRD! He hasn't let us down yet: Family Dog, The Incredibles, Iron Giant, Ratatouille! So curious to see how he handles flesh and blood actors instead of drawings and pixels.

Box Office Top Ten
01 SHERLOCK HOLMES A GAME OF SHADOWS new $40 
02 ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS: CHIPWRECKED new $23.5 
03 MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE - GHOST PROTOCOL  $13 
04 NEW YEAR'S EVE new $7.4 (cum. $24.8)
05 THE SITTER new $4.4 (cum. $17.7)
06 THE TWILIGHT SAGA: BREAKING DAWN PART 1 $4.3 (cum $266.4)
07 YOUNG ADULT $3.6 (cum $4)
08 HUGO $3.6 (cum $39)
09 ARTHUR CHRISTMAS $3.6 (cum. $38.5)
10 THE MUPPETS $3.4 (cum $70.9)

Other Talking Points
Precursor Nominations Mean Nothing to Ticket Sales: The Descendants [Michael's review] didn't really get a boost from its week of precursor glories, off 23% from last week, but then neither did any of the other films. It's all white noise to general audiences... until Oscar nominations, one supposes. Meanwhile one wonders if the Weinstein Co is being too cautious. The Artist [Nathaniel's review] was off only 2% but they only added one screen. My Week With Marilyn [Nathaniel's review] is also losing heat without expansions. It's taking forever and what gives with that. Marilyn is a brand. 

Jodie in Hiding:  Carnage is the second Jodie Foster picture in a row to open in a tiny number of locations following The Beaver. While I realize she isn't the draw she once was, it seems like she'd still be enough of a draw in wide release to at least make some money on a wider opening, even if people don't end up liking the movie, instead of the torturous inching along which prevents revenue.

Indie Success: Shame crossed the $1 million mark with 30 screens added and Margin Call crossed the $5 million mark (on a $3.5 million budget) as it continues to lose theaters. Is Margin Call a sign that Zachary Quinto is going to be a real behind-the-scenes force? He really seems to be taking to the producer's role with several projects lined up. 

What did you see this weekend? Was it worth your time?