The Not So "Amazing" Spider-Man

originally published in my column at Towleroad

Andrew Garfield hanging about on The Amazing Spider-Man set.

Déjà vu  is an unsettling feeling. You can’t quite place the why and whens of it but you know you’ve experienced whatever this is before. Not so with the reboot of Spider-Man which has been optimistically retitled “THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN” for 2012.  The new webslinging film arrives only five years after Spider-Man 3, that final sour note in Sam Raimi’s otherwise sweet trilogy. This déjà vu is easy to place with the “whens” and thus less unsettling if still perplexing on account of the “whys”. We’re back to summer 2002 when Peter Parker first pined for a high school sweetheart, first indirectly contributed to his uncle’s murder, first learned that with great power comes great responsibility, and first swung around a big screen Manhattan in his iconic red and blue spandex.

Franchises are the comfort food of the movies and though there’s nothing wrong with comfort food beyond its lack of nutritional value, so much depends on the delivery when it comes to the familiar pleasure. The Amazing Spider-Man spins its title card with webbing very swiftly which leaves you hoping for a zippy entertainment with key twists on the mythos to keep you engaged. But after a new corporate thriller prologue featuring Peter Parker’s heretofore unseen parents the movie settles into excessively familiar story beats. We’re forced to wait out the entire numbing origin story again and relive many story beats from the 2002 origin story, with the only major exclusions being the absence of Parker's employment at The Daily Bugle (weird) and no James Franco shaped obstacle to his girl’s affections. Other than that only the names of the major characters have changed: Blonde Gwen Stacy (Emma Stone) stands in for Redhead Mary Jane Watson (Kirsten Dunst) as the love interest Peter likes to photograph; Dr Curt Connors/The Lizard (Rhys Ifans) stands in for Norman Osborne/The Green Goblin (Willem Dafoe) as the scientist Peter looks up to whose illegal human experimentation (on himself!) wreaks havoc on his mental stability.

Once you start talking to yourself in an out of body "evil" voice, it's just a matter of time until you're a Green Super Villain. More...

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Red (& Blue) Carpet Convo: Andrew ♥ Emma

HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY! We return to Red Carpet Convos with a special Spidey edition starring Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone at premiere events with myself (Nathaniel) and Film Experience fan and Pajiba columnist Joanna drooling on them. Moviegoers will be doing the same over the holiday no doubt as The Amazing Spider-Man tests the "how soon is too soon?" mega-question of The Reboot.... 

Is your Spidey Sense tingling?

Joanna: SPIDER-PEOPLE

Nathaniel: Before I succumb to Hollywood's cutest couple, I have to say that though I hear Michael's point, I still live in horror of how well the movie might do and how fast it will then speed up the cycle of reboots. THE HUNGER GAMES STARRING ELLE FANNING IN 2015!

Ahem. But if this movie was necessary to bring Emma & Andrew together, I accept it in all its unecessary glory

Joanna:  ‪It should be noted, that no matter what I say about their clothing, every time I look at a photo of them, I feel like I've been aggressively snuggled by a puppy.  They are the adorablest.‬

Nathaniel:  ‪a puppy with a super cold wet nose and the softest fur imaginable. A whole litter of aggressively cuddly puppies in fact.

Joanna:  ‪Where do we start?  OOOO!  Can we start with Elvira, Mistress of Darkness?‬ 

Nathaniel:  ‪Yes‬. 

Joanna:  ‪Especially because good old Andy is wearing a shiny red suit. A. Shiny. Red. Suit.‬ Not pictured: the (I'm not kidding) gold medallion around his neck.

Nathaniel:    ‪Although this is kind of like skipping ahead to the climax. The best thing is that he doesn't even seem uncomfortable but like he owns it. He's wearing the Shiny Red Suit. The Shiny Red Suit is not wearing him.‬ Which I hope is true in the movie too. Theme clothing! 

Joanna:  ‪Oh sorry!  Did I peak too early?  Well then can we take a post-coital look at the turquoise bed skirt Emma is sporting?‬

Nathaniel:    ‪These are the casual looks from press events earlier in the day at premieres. ‬Although if this is post-coital, what does that say about his t-shirt "I'm an animal lover" well... "_m a_ _nima_ _ve_ " so i'm guessing.

Joanna: ‪I bet you're a whiz at Hangman‬

Nathaniel:   ‪boggle, scrabble, hangman. I ♥ words.

Joanna:   ‪Do you love Andrew's macho T-Bird look?‬ Do you think black leather suits him?

Nathaniel:    ‪This is the only gray area in his choices thus far. It's possible that the Leather is wearing him.‬

‪How is it possible that Emma Stone is so unpredictable with her fashions and yet always looks great. Like there's no signature look at all but everything is perfect. If it were possible to hate whole litters of snuggly puppies, you'd have to hate them. Too much perfection.‬

Joanna:   ‪The fact that HE wants to snuggle her even when she wears pounds of lace and embroidered flowers restores my faith in humanity...and puppies.‬ 

Nathaniel:   ‪But even embroidered flowers look great on her. I'm dying to see her on laundry day. I bet even dirty pajamas and worn embarrassing t-shirts from 10 years ago look great on her.‬ 

Joanna:   ‪Do you miss her Ginger hair at all, though?  I think the blonde makes her look a mite pale all over.‬

Nathaniel:   ‪I do. I always miss ginger hair and it always worries me for actresses. *coughlindsay‬* Blonde is just too common. It's practically the Official Hair Color of Actressing and as such, you're never special when you wear it unless you are one of the true goddesses of the color (Monroe, Deneuve, Harlow, Pfeiffer, and a few more)

Joanna:   ‪I knew we were headed there.‬ 

Nathaniel: lol. But how sharp and natty is Garfield's gray with sweater ensemble?

Joanna:   ‪That's my favorite one!‬ As a fellow Word Lover, I have a thing for English Professor chic. If that coat has elbow patches, I'll just die.

Nathaniel:   ‪And we'll reboot you in ten years.‬ 

Joanna:  ‪To be played by an as yet unborn Fanning!‬ 

 

YOUR TURN...

Which is cuter, a litter of soft puppies or Emma & Andrew? 

Previously...
Savages premiere
To Rome With Love premiere

Burning Questions: What's Wrong With An Instant Reboot?

Michael C here to get Spidey's back this Fourth of July.

There used to be a natural life cycle for big movie franchises. It began with audiences thrilling to the sight of Christopher Reeve soaring over Metropolis and ended a few films later with everyone looking away in embarrassment as Superman traded punches with Nuclear Man on the moon. This was followed by a period of mourning long enough for everyone to wonder if the last film was some kind of fever dream, and then and only then could a fresh creative team breathe life into the dormant franchise.

But now, no sooner does Emo Spidey cha-cha his way into an early grave, than the suits decide to shake the etch-a-sketch on the whole show and pretend the last three films never happened. In a world fast approaching franchise over-saturation, with sequels dropping with a frequency normally reserved for Tetris blocks, the idea of a hugely successful series starting over from scratch while the body of the last entry is still warm, feels like a new low in shameless cash-grabbing. 

Time for a new actor to don the mask

But take a step back for a moment, put emotions on hold and ask the logical question: What is so bad about an instant reboot?

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Tues Top Ten: Who for Avengers 2 ?

Every once in awhile people will ask me if I really like superheroes or if I just post about them on occassion because it's good for traffic. The answers are a bold yes and an er, probably not (The Film Experience isn't so much on the fanboy traffic radar for numerous reasons including undoubtedly because actresses on the verge of onscreen nervous breakdowns are a way more thrilling visual effect than superhero powers). But in truth I've always loved superheroes and only wish that superhero movies had more variety and imagination and a fan culture that was less slobbering and homogenous. See, I grew up completely obsessed with X-Men. Just as with movies where strong casts are consistently more likely to thrill me than movies built on one performance, I generally appreciated team comics the most, so I also read (in ascending order of favoritism): The Legion of Superheroes, Fantastic Four, Alpha Flight, The Avengers and The Teen Titans. I liked the Avengers best when certain characters were present.  For those of you who didn't read comics, The Avengers operated on an internal narrative wherein the roster of heroes changed fairly regularly, sometimes only one or two slots but never exactly the same roll call. 

So with last week's no shit announcement that box office titan The Avengers would be getting a sequel, I thought I'd list the ten characters I'd most like Joss Whedon to consider for it. He's already on record saying he'd like another female though the pickings are somewhat slim. The unstated problem is that the best female superheroes are part of the X-Men team, characters 20th Century Fox is in control of... a thorough breakdown of who owns which characters can be found at Screen Rant. This is all assuming that Marvel Studios doesn't want Whedon to just make the first movie again with a new villain. Which, I'll quickly note, is a ridiculous assumption. The guiding rule of expensive studio sequels is "make it the same only bigger" 

Top Ten Heroes To Consider for Avengers 2

With apologies to Quake who was in the original post and was accidentally deleted until it was all written.

10 Doctor Strange
The Marvel Universe's premiere sorcerer has yet to make a dent outside of comic books. Name recognition wouldn't be high for mainstream audiences but that's what people worried about with Iron Man and look how that turned out? Strange got a TV movie in 1978 but subsequent planned film versions have been cursed, the spell forever uncast.

The rights have changed hands many times but last we heard, Marvel Studios had control of the mystic doctor again and had hired screenwriters. Adrien Brody was rumored for the role a couple of years ago and then Patrick Dempsey was lobbying hard in 2011. I'm not crazy about the Dempsey idea since his charisma is scaled so well for the small screen -- really it's just the hair that make people think he's right for it because as an actor he definitely lacks mystery -- but the Doctor could be an intriguing character in the right hands.

#8 through #1 after the jump

09 Ms Marvel / Binary / War Bird
I've never met a soul who has any deep feelings or fandom for Ms. Marvel, which probably dooms her big screen chances altogether but hear me out. Her backstory is so fucked up, her name has changed multiple times, that nothing is canon. A writer like Joss Whedon could do virtually whatever he pleased with her without upsetting decades of story. But it's also worth noting that Ms. Marvel's most intriguing story connects to the X-Men mythology. Rogue (played by Anna Paquin in the movies) once absorbed just too much of her and gained all her memories and identity giving both women major psychiatric issues thereafter. 

If handled brilliantly and with a team of great lawyers couldn't she straddle both superhero franchises as a supporting player, essentially tying them into the same universe without disrupting either studio's plans too much?

#8 through #1 after the jump

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Andrew & Tobey & Spidey

VMan magazine had the fine idea of Peter Parker Tobey Maguire grilling Peter Parker Andrew Garfield on donning the Spider-Man duds. Superheroes already know from dual personas so this idea is not just right but it's hey hey. Amusing interview and I thought we should discuss the best bit. 

Tshirt by Giorgio Armani. Guns by Andrew Garfield

On Andrew's first time seeing Tobey's movie:

AG Very much so. Peter Parker is such a positive character—he's pure wish fulfillment, an underdog. I grew so much from him when I was a kid, from the comics all the way up to the first movie you were in. I was 19 when I saw [Spider-Man]. I got a pirated dvd at portobello Market with my friend Terry Mcguiness, and we went back to my skanky apartment in North London and we watched it twice in a row and then practiced your final line in the mirror!
TM [Laughs]
AG Terry has this thick accent and every time I would recite that line he would laugh this very distinct laugh and say, "No, man, you could never be fucking Spider-Man. You'll never be fucking Spider-Man!" I was so humiliated and upset. But, um...fuck you, Terry!

They also discuss the overnight colossal change in Tobey Maguire's fame after Spider-Man opened -- not unlike how surprised Peter Parker is to wake up with Spider-Man physique.

Andrew reveals that he and Jamie Bell (they're friends) had dinner together the night they both auditioned. Fun Fact! So here's the article (you have to scroll back up to the beginning of each page when you're done reading for the "next" button...  not user friendly)

I'm still not excited for the movie but I'll try for Andrew.