Life of Link

Movie Line could The Canyons revive Lindsay Lohan's film career?
The Onion "Area Woman's Baseless Hatred Of Anne Hathaway Reciprocated" LOL
Awards Daily Oscar Post-Mortem. Great 2012 movies that received no Oscar nominations this season. Will you remember them, anyway?  

Wet Dark and Wild what is Jake Gyllenhaal up to? Prisoners
The Carpetbagger explains what's going on with Visual Effects in the wake of that Life of Pi speech so unceremoniously cut off by Jaws music on Oscar night
Vulture a timeline of Oscar weekend parties with appearances from Quvenzhané, Chastain, John Hawkes, a reunion for The Help.  I love this bit on Tommy Lee Jones... I mean who knew:

11:58 p.m. The most romantic moment of the night comes from Tommy Lee Jones, of all people. He's holding up an In-N-Out burger for his wife Dawn to graze on, while looking at her lovingly. She's literally eating out of the palm of his hand right now.

newsy
Coming Soon the new Annie, starring Quvenzhané Wallis will hit movie theaters on Christmas day, 2014 
Hollywood Carrie Fisher hospitalized after bipolar meltdown :(  
i09 Chris Cooper joining The Amazing Spider-Man 2 as Norman Osborne. Studios never learn their lessons and this one is getting as crowded as X3!
My New Plaid Pants Annie Wilkes herself, Kathy Bates, is joining the new season of American Horror Story 

The Links (Are Out Today)

These Links Have Little Do With Oscars.
Woot! We're (almost) clear!
Movie|Line the new Spider-Man suit. Try to contain your excitement that it's the same as the old one with bigger eyes. 
Stale Popcorn the week in Kidmania. (It's so gratifying to enjoy Nicole Kidman with the whole world again.)
Salon a mash note to Bailey Buntainn (the mini Megan-Hilty) on the increasingly stellar Bunheads 
/Film The Coen Bros rewriting Unbroken for Angelina Jolie to direct. Whoa. Smart movie Angelina.
Coming Soon James McAvoy make take on the remake of The Crow... although given the concept of The Crow I fail to see why it needs a remake OR a reboot. The idea is that the crow moves on to a new fresh corpse once you've had your vengeance.

Oscar Leftovers
TMZ Quvenzhané Wallis causes an explosion in puppy purse sales (Courtney isn't the only girl that got excited about them.)
HuffPo a producer of the Oscar winning short Paperman kicked out of the Dolby for throwing paper airplanes on Oscar night! 
The Verge Oscar winning doc short Inocente is the first Oscar winner funded by Kickstarter. Methinks it won't be the last 
IndieWire behind the current vfx problem in Hollywood. What the Life of Pi winner was talking about before the orchestra drowned him out.  
Towleroad was "amazing" the most overused word at the Oscars? 

Oscar Commercials?
I hadn't even thought of this as a topic but two of my friends had something to say...
Kari Artwork did his own zombie unicorn painting inspire that Tim Burton Samsung ad? 
Tribeca Film Joe Reid on the movie-star commercials that aired during the program 

Today's Must Watch
David Bowie recruits one of his modern day descendants Tilda Swinton for his new music video. YESSSSSSSSSSSSS 

For her next art project I would like Tilda Swinton to star as David Bowie and remake all of his music videos.

Me, Elsewhere. Talking Oscar

I was a special guest star on two different sites today. So I have to send you away; come to me by going away! 

First, I was one of two guest stars on the latest edition of the fine podcast OpKino which stars my friend Katey Rich and her harem of movie besties Matt Patches, David Ehrlich and Da7e Gonzales (all of whom are infinitely worth following on twitter if you don't yet). I'm one of two guests. Not the one talking up The Amazing Spider-Man 2 rumors (i.e. Spider-Man 5) although I have nothing against Spidey. (Oh wait, I do now. Damnit.) I'm there to talk Oscars. Are they important? Why should people who don't like them learn to appreciate? And more...

Second, the fine folks at Slate and I have revamped last year's Acceptance Speech Analysis Essay and Interactives to bring it to the right now. I was so proud of this last season so if you missed it please read. Or read again. I spent DAYS researching it - fun filled eye strained days of watching actresses and actors stutter, cry, freak out. Now of course every site is writing about acceptance speeches since Oscar went and made it easy for them, transcribing all the actors acceptance speeches from somewhere in the 70s onward. They did it a year too late to save me those days and days of research but I like to think that I gave AMPAS the idea with my Slate thesis last year! They can thank me by inviting me to the Dolby next year. I'll be a lowly seat filler, bathroom attendant, or janitor, I don't care. 

P.S. Before you click away, as instructed, why not like the Film Experience on Facebook?

Link Bowl

AP the inventor of Etch-a-Sketch has died. If I still had one still, i would draw you the saddest frown right now. Unhappy about this!
YouTube "Upside Downton Abbey" via Sesame Street
Playbill interviews Sebastian Stan who has now made a name for himself on all three actors mediums: film, tv, and stage (with Picnic, previously discussed)
BuzzFeed why The Amazing Spider-Man sequel will prove to be a bizarro version of Spider-Man 3 

Comics Alliance this made me lol'an extensive discussion of Batman punching animals'
Salon Richard Kramer remembers his mentor Pauline Kael
/Film Matthew Modine has had his diaries from Full Metal Jacket made into an iPad App. Great idea.
Carpetbagger Wreck-It Ralph scores at the Annie Awards
Empire Johnny Depp might finally play a non cartoon again. He could attend Black Mass, a true story crime drama, with Barry Levinson directing. He's done this genre before to varying but mostly positive results (Public Enemies, Donnie Brasco) 

Awards Daily on the conjoined fall & rise of Zero Dark Thirty and Argo
The New Yorker nominated The Paperboy for future camp classic now that it's on DVD "where it belongs"
Jeremy Helligar on why Joaquin Phoenix should win the Oscar instead of Day Lewis. Love this bit... 

Quell was a mix of standout characteristics of at least three of the characters played by Phoenix's Best Actor Oscar competition, a drunk like Washington's Whip Whitaker, cuckoo like Cooper's Pat Solitano (though hardly recovering) and criminal like Jackman's Jean Valjean (again, hardly reformed). If The Master had been set 100 years earlier, circa 1850, I have no doubt that Freddie would have wanted to free the slaves, too.

Do you have any impossible dream of Daniel's third going to someone else?

Worst of the Year (Pt 2). My Eyes... My Eyes... My Very Soul!

Previously in the Year in Review we visited Snow White and the Overrated, Misjudged, Miscast Tomorrow the joyous positivity starts but until then, we purge. Let's rush through this final bout of negativity.

WORST FOREVER-TREND: BAD MOVIE POSTERS

Now I know how the vampires of True Blood feel whey they cry... My eyes! My eyes!

These three posters for To Rome With Love, Quartet and Marvel's The Avengers probably do not represent the absolute worst movie advertisements of the year but they are indicative of three subspecies of Horribilus Posterus: To Rome With Love shoves its cast into  multiple little boxes, a common technique that is nearly always hideous on posters but that never stops designers from trying. To make matters worse they've selected color palette so bland that it seems to be advertising air-conditioned nap time, oatmeal breakfast at a theater near you, and A Film By Nancy Meyers all at the same time; Quartet represents the Indecisive Nonsensical brand of bad poster since its retro 80s color blocking suggests period comedy romp (No, sort of, and no) and then it's like oh "every diva deserves an encore" but the movie actually fights against this (I shan't spoil it if you're inclined to suffer through); The Avengers is appropriately colorful but belongs to the most populated subspecies of bad poster, the No One on This Poster Was Ever in The Same Room Together disconnect. Photoshop has become such a crutch for everyone that marketing departments seem to believe that no one values authentic connection in imagery anymore and I absolutely don't believe that's the case. You're paying stars millions of dollars to appear in a movie but you can't require in their contract that they pose together for promotional materials? 

Worst Miscellania and 5 Worst Movies of the Year after the jump

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