Beauty Vs Beast: Double Oh Golden Boys

JA from MNPP here, using this week's round of our "Beauty vs Beast" series to commemorate the occasion of the 84th anniversary of the birth of that paragon of brute debonair charm, Sean Connery. Who even knew "brute" and "debonair" could be a simultaneous thing til he showed us? Rock 'em sock 'em and shake them martinis, it's a Bond off. I waffled between a couple of villains to face him off against - I do love Dr. No and his awesome plastic head bubble - but when it comes to a bigger-than-bad personality I think the odds are in Gold's favor.

poll by twiigs.com

I just flicked the laser's ON switch - you have one week to make your choice before your bits-and-pieces get all crispy-like, so maybe make it timely this week? I mean, I'm only thinking of your privates.

PREVIOUSLY We dove down under da sea to duke it out between Disney's ginger mermaid princess and the big bad brassy sea-hag whos after her pipes... well poor sweet Ariel kinda never stood a chance against so much divine deliciousness; Ursula swam off with a pirate booty's full two-thirds of the vote. Said Alan P:

"Ariel may be the leading lady we all love, but a diva is a diva, and a diva is forever!"

Box Office: An Expensive Lesson in Sequel Production

Amir here, with the weekend’s box office report. Much like last week, the biggest story at the multiplex is the massive failure of a has-been brand. Then, it was the shrinking shoulders of 80s action heroes that could not bear the weight of a changing, modern world. Now, it is Frank Miller’s overly familiar aesthetic and the fading stars of Jessica Alba and crew. This catastrophe is of epic proportions. Budgeted around $70m, Sin City: A Dame To Kill For failed to make even 1/10th of its production costs back and fell behind the aforementioned Expendables 3. Reviews haven’t been kind and any affection for the original film has vanished in the intervening decade. You either have to suffocate the audiences with non-stop sequels and reboots before they know who’s hitting them, or they’ll forget you. That’s the lesson for Robert Rodriguez and Frank Miller and one they have had to pay at least $50m dollars to learn.

The best selling wide release was also the weekend’s Film Amir Is Too Old To Watch, a romance starring Chloe Grace Moretz called If I Stay that didn’t have the muscle to take the throne from Guardians or Turtles, making this one of the year’s quieter weekends. 

WEEKEND BOX OFFICE
01 GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY $17.6 (cum. $251.8)  Review
02 ...NINJA TURTLES $16.8 (cum. $145.6) remember the animated one?
03 IF I STAY $16.2 *new*
04 LET'S BE COPS $11 (cum. $45.2)
05 WHEN THE GAME STANDS TALL $9 *new*
06 THE GIVER $6.7 (cum. $24.1) Review
07 THE EXPENDABLES 3 $6.6 (cum. $27.5)  recommended read
08 SIN CITY: A DAME TO KILL FOR $6.4 *new*
09 THE HUNDRED FOOT JOURNEY $5.5 (cum. $32.7) 
10 INTO THE STORM $3.8 (cum. $38.3)  
11 LUCY $3.5 (cum. $113.7) Podcast
12 BOYHOOD  $1.8 (cum. $16.5)  Review & Podcast
13 MAGIC IN THE MOONLIGHT $1.3 (cum. $6.8)  
14 DAWN OF THE PLANET OF THE APES $1.1 (cum. $203.9) Podcast & Reviewish
15 GET ON UP  $.9 (cum. $28.7) Review & Viola Davis

On the limited side, brighter news: Ira Sach's Love Is Strange a film The Film Experience adores, did strong business on only 5 screens. Here’s hoping it expands across North America as quickly as possible. The only new release I watched in the past couple of days is Ari Folman’s The Congress, which isn’t actually out until next weekend. Stay tuned for my review! What have you watched this weekend?

Balls

I went to a ball.

I got a trophy.

Click to read more ...

182 days 'til Oscar

Which power couple will be obsessing over in just six months time? The 87th Oscars approach and as long as the movies have been around there have been fabulously wealthy and glamorous movie star couples. Take Mary Pickford and Douglas Fairbanks for instance, the original celebrity power couple. If you must know (I know you are too shy to ask) my favorite films of theirs are His: The Thief of Bagdad (1924) and Hers: Stella Maris (1918) though admittedly I have many more left to see.

Fairbanks & Pickford were married in 1920 when both were superstars, he the original Zorro and she Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm and other big hits. He famously gave Pickford "The Star of Bombay," a 182-carat sapphire which was not actually from Bombay but from Sri Lanka. She later bequeathed it to the Smithsonian where it remains. There's your priceless (okay, $½ million in today's dollars) piece of trivia for the day. You're welcome.

Pickford (the original "America's Sweetheart") and Fairbanks (the original "King of Hollywood") were among the 36 co-founders of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. Fairbanks served as its first President and both would eventually receive Honorary Oscars with Mary also winning a regular statuette for Coquette). Could they have ever imagined how obsessive we'd all be about their little annual banquets 87 years later? 

At the 86th Oscars, contemporary Hollywood's most glamorous megastar couple Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt famously ate a pizza (well, he did) but they were also honored. She took home an Honorary (albeit non televised. argh) and he won his first competitive Oscar for producing 12 Years a Slave. They could theoretically both take home Oscars again if Fury and Unbroken are massive hits with AMPAS and reasonably well liked by audiences. 

Do you think they will be?

CURRENT OSCAR PREDICTIONS (which category needs a major rethink?)

2 Days 'til Emmy Awards: Fantasy Mash-Ups

Before we hit the Emmy Awards one last group poll. I asked friends which Emmy nominated TV characters mix and matched from different series would they love to see paired up? 

True Sherlock: His Last Vow

Michael: I would mash up Benedict Cumberbatch's Sherlock with McConaughey's Rust. Sherlock would've knocked out that Yellow King business out in 20 minutes leaving the rest of the season for them to get drunk and philosophize.

Denny: Sheldon Cooper (Jim Parsons on The Big Bang Theory) and Crazy Eyes (Uzo Aduba on Orange is the New Black) are served a pie. Hilarity ensues. Or: Queen Cersei (Lena Headey) gets sent to Litchfield prison and insults Red's (Kate Mulgrew) cooking on her first day. Delicious scheming and sassy put-downs ensue. And I really want to see Allison Janney and Julie Bowen's characters from Mom and Modern Family get drinks together, just because.

Andrew:  I'd like to see Claire Danes throwdown with any of the women on Orange is the New Black. Even though Homeland is supposed to be passe now, Claire continues to dig deeper with Carrie so why not up the ante by having her imprisioned? 

Tyrion & Claire in "House of Thrones"

Joe Reid: Okay, well for starters, Claire Underwood would be the best thing that ever happened to Tyrion Lannister, and it would lead to possibly the greatest showdown on TV ever the next time Cersei tried to cross the happy couple.

Meanwhile, I keep trying in vain to find someone good enough for Veep's Amy Brookheimer, who would simultaneously not get chewed up and spit out by her ambitions/schedule. I finally settled on The Good Wife's Will Gardner, except ... well ... sigh.

Matthew Rettenmund:: Definitely Selina Meyer from Veep and Nicky Nichols from Orange is the New Black. I think Selina is a power lesbian waiting to happen—that haircut was more of a declaration than Ellen's "Yep, I'm gay!" NEWSWEEK cover—and Nicky knows how to pick the lock on a closet.

Jose Solis: Carrie Mathison and Dr. William Masters. If poor Virginia drives him crazy, wait until he has to deal with Temple Grandin...

Mark Blankenship: Capt. Holt (Andre Braugher) from Brooklyn Nine-Nine and Tyrion Lannister (Peter Dinklage) from Game of Thrones would be perfect as a mismatched pair of private investigators in small New England town.

Anne Marie:  I want to see Lady Olenna and the Dowager Countess sit down to a meal with Red. They can serve prison chicken, tea, and barbed one-liners to each other.

Abstew: Allison Janney in Mom and Allison Janney from  Masters of Sex. Who wouldn't want an Allison Janney acting showdown? And since these characters are polar opposites, they could teach each other what the other is missing. Bonnie can tell Margaret about orgasms and Margaret can give Bonnie some class. 

You know you want to play in the comments and tell us which one of these impossible pairings is the one for you. Or create your own if none of these would win your greenlight.