"To Red Carpets With Love" - Gerwig, Pill, Cruz.

It's the new improved Red Carpet Convos. Faster, snappier, more focused... at least until the Oscars when it's impossible not to feel overwhelmed by gowns and veritably trampled by stilettos. For now, one event or theme at a time, all quick like. Today it's premiere time for Woody Allen. Welcome back Joanna from Pajiba.

Joanna: Okay, let's hit it!

Nathaniel: ‪Today we're going To Rome With Love by way of Los Angeles and New York.‬ 

Woody Allen, Allison Pill, Elena Anaya, Penélope Cruz, Greta Gerwig

Joanna:  ‪Bad fashion from 'round the world!‬

Nathaniel:  ‪Right. I hate to start with such a downer waaah-waaaaah but I almost feel like this LA premiere is actual stills from a Woody Allen movie. He kinda loves the beiges.‬ Since red carpets take place outdoors we'll call this Exteriors. Coming Soon!

Joanna:  ‪Not Alison's Getting Married?‬ 

Nathaniel:  ‪Marriage, Pill Style [pill being valiums]‬ 

Joanna:  ‪I love Pill and I think she looks swellegant from the waist up.  But the length is so bridal meets plastic shower curtain from Target.

Nathaniel:  ‪With ballet slippers? ‬I mean where is she going. 

Joanna:  ‪If this were a wedding, then Penélope Cruz would be the super aggressive Mother of The Bride.‬

Nathaniel:  ‪Right. Love the Power Bitch Shellacked Hair though it always reminds me of that time when Laura Linney got all "bad girl" at the Oscars.‬

 Joanna:  ‪Not loving the sparkly boob drape, but it's almost as if Penélope is narrowing her heavily lined eyes at me, daring me to question her "window treatment."  If you know what I mean.‬

Nathaniel:  ‪This red carpet is depressing and it's for a sunny Rome-set comedy. Greta Gerwig will play the role of Pill's Flower (Dress) Girl. Or wait. are those grapes?‬

Joanna:  ‪Rome? Grapes? A theme!‬ 

Nathaniel:  ‪To Bacchus With Love‬ 

 Joanna:  ‪I have to say, of all the pieces on this carpet, Elena Anaya's hot pink shoes are my FAVORITE.‬

Nathaniel:  ‪The Shoes She Lives In

Joanna: god I loved that movie.

Nathaniel: ‬Let's change cities like Woody do. (He should direct a James Bond movie since they're always globe hopping) 

Alvy Singer, Gerwig, The Real Mr & Mrs Don Draper, Cruz

Joanna:  ‪What is the delightful secret Woody is keeping? ‬Is it that Greta is expecting? Or that her shoes are secretly the Phantom Of The Opera? 

Nathaniel:  Hee. But that's why we were at a wedding earlier. Shotgun.‬ Woody, Greta, and Penélope are in NYC all of a sudden in this photo so out comes the black (shoes or dress or both)

Joanna:  ‪But Penelope is sticking to the grape theme.‬ 

Nathaniel:  ‪Days of Wine and Bardem-Cruzes -- I can't stop with the fake movie titles. Apologies.

poll by twiigs.com

I'd love to get complely drunk with her but I kinda hate this color on her. I'm not sure why. I think maybe it's because she looks so tan lately.‬

Joanna:  ‪What do we think of the Hamm Wesfeldt's? I love her dress and basically everything about her except for her Zellwegerian squint. And he, to me, is stubbly perfection.‬

Nathaniel:  ‪I love them. They strike me as a genuinely awesome happy couple, whether squinting or unshaven. And, not for nothing, I think they'd both be great in a Woody Allen movie. I hope they were handshaking and charming and bantering to sell that.‬

Joanna:  ‪<--- OH GOD GRETA'S WAIST FRINGE‬ 

Nathaniel:  ‪I knew I had to hit you with another Greta pic. It's just... what?!?

Joanna:  ‪Her waist looks like it's wearing false eyelashes.‬ The whole thing is just so staggeringly unflattering.  In every conceivable way. 

Nathaniel:  ‪waistlashes. lol. what an image.‬ I'm not sure how to end this Exteriors movie. ‬Gerwig has robbed me of speech.

Joanna:  ‪Then take a tip from Woody and, just, shhhhhhhhhhhh.‬ 

Nathaniel:  ‪[rolling credits with some jaunty 30s tune]‬ 

Previously on Red Carpet Convos...
Cannes dresses (Jose)
Rock of Ages and Prometheus premieres (Joanna & Nathaniel)
Hunger Games premiere (Guy & Nathaniel)

Don't Make A Sad Face, Ewan

JA from MNPP here. Have y'all heard the lousy news that HBO has passed on The Corrections? An adaptation of Jonathan Franzen's well-loved 2001 bestseller, the HBO series was going to be produced by the terrifically talented Noah Baumbach and had lined up a truly amazing cast with Chris Cooper and Dianne Wiest as the parents and Ewan McGregor and Maggie Gyllenhaal and Greta Gerwig as their adult children. Ahh! That cast leaves me a little breathless.

They filmed a pilot, which all of us should immediately call our state representatives about enacting legislation which would force the immediate dissemination thereof. There's like a Freedom of Information Act or something right? Bring that up. We can do it!

Anyway HBO passed on it. The plan had been fairly massive - they wanted to make four ten-episode long seasons - so it always seemed a little too good to be true. With a cast like this, ya know? We daren't dream such things. It only leads to madness. I don't know if they can shop the series to other networks at this point - maybe Showtime?

HBO did pick up Cary Fukunaga's series True Detective with Woody Harrelson and Matthew McConaughey though, so it's tempting to say there's an HBO executive out there making choices with his bong...

Yes, No, Maybe So: Damsels in Distress

Whit Stillman hasn't made a movie in 14 years. I remember loving his first, Metropolitan (1990), when it arrived. So did most critics. It's not so frequently discussed today but it was a big enough deal at the time to win him an Oscar nomination for Best Original Screenplay. He had such a fresh sophisticated voice. So I was delighted to see that the star of his "comeback" (if such a thing occurs) is an actress with a fresh comic voice, Greta Gerwig.

And not so delighted to see the Woody Allen reference right up front. It's not that I don't adore Woody but, as his endless parade of proxy protagonists proved, one Woody is enough. Whit's voice is a unique one. I hate to see unique voices shoved into tiny comparative boxes and hopefully he hasn't lost it in the 14 years since his last feature The Last Days of Disco (1998)

Let's break down the trailer with our yes, no, maybe so system.

YES

• Whit Stillman is back
• Greta Gerwig was superbly authentic, touching and funny in Greenberg () but her off kilter whimsy got lost and was wasted on Arthur. Stillman might know what to do with her.
• Aubrey Plaza is super super fun in short doses in everything from  Parks and Recreation to Scott Pilgrim vs. The World.
• Movies about gaggles of girls navigating college life and love led by a know it all who might not know it all or at least not very much about? Sounds ripe for comic pathos.
• Tap dancing! Better yet... More than one musical sequence.

NO

• "Frank", Gerwig's man, seems a little empty as a character in this two minute glimpse. Will all the men be too caricatured?

We're also trying to make a difference in people's lives and one way to do that is stop them from killing themselves."

-You're worried I'll kill myself and make you look bad?
-No, I'm worried you'll kill yourself and make yourself look bad."

MAYBE SO

• There are three suicide jokes in this trailer. It's obviously a plot thread or even a full on plot. And that's a lot for one film too handle. I've met so many crazy people who hate Heathers because it dared to laugh at something that's no laughing matter.
• Aubrey Plaza is super fun in short doses but is she a major character and if so is she fun in large doses?
• Gerwig's delivery and the overall tone seems very arch and that could be hard to pull off in a full length feature.

The Trailer

• Are you a yes, no or maybe so?
• Do you prefer the phrase "I'm depressed" or "I'm in a tailspin"?

I was going to ask you if you considered tap dancing highly effective therapy but... duh! That goes without saying.

Review: Arthur (2011)

Since I very recently saw Arthur (1981) on Netflix Instant Watch, I had a bit of a trouble disconnecting myself from the original while watching the new version 30 years later.

Dudley & Liz vs. Russell & Greta

The more things change the more they stay the same? The comedy Arthur (1981) opened during a recession and high unemployment rates. Here we are again in 2011 when all but the richest are hurting and that drunken millionaire is rearing his head again. He's hoping you'll laugh with him or at him -- either will do as he has no shame. The first time around audiences did just that. They embraced Arthur's reckless entitlement and threw millions more into his seemingly bottomless coffer, turning the film into one of the biggest blockbusters of early 80s cinema.

The remake, also named ARTHUR (2011) is in some ways a recreation with virtually the same character in a nearly identical plot. The few changes are cosmetic. Even Arthur's net worth hasn't changed all that much...

READ THE REST @ Towleroad

What do you make of this Arthur or the earlier one?