Blue Moments With Jodie & Fassy

Was it just me or was last night's Golden Globe ceremony less gold than blue? (It was even unfortunately brown what with all the references to Bridesmaids poop jokes). "Blush" was both a red carpet trend and something that stars were having to do.

The evening literally began with a beaver joke and ended with a dick gag. Both Jodie Foster and Michael Fassbender were good sports about the below-the-belt ribbing but what the hell did they spike the drinks with last night?

Jodie's Beaver
Ricky Gervais set the bawdy tone kicking off with a joke that seemed to be about Mel Gibson (he wasn't allowed to talk about him) but morphed into a much better one about Jodie Foster. He can't mention Mel Gibson...

Especially not Jodie Foster's Beaver. I haven't seen it myself. 

I've spoken to a lot of guys here. They haven't seen it either.  

...But that doesn't mean it's not any good!

One of the talking dumbheads at E! after party actually thought that was a joke about Jodie still being hot after birthing two children. Oh no, honey, no. That's not what the joke was about. 

Elton John did not think this joke was funny in a subsequent cutaway -- though he knew what the joke was about -- but he had a permascowl on his face throughout the evening, only smiling when Morgan Freeman interrupted his own speech to say "Hi Elton"

Fassbender's Frontal
When Clooney won Best Actor, He gave a beautiful shout out to his friend and former co-star Brad Pitt before going straight for the Fassbender dick jokes, even pantomiming a golf swing without a golf club.

Also you get to meet a lot of other wonderful young actors.  I met -- I'd like to thank Michael Fassbender for taking on the frontal nudity responsibility that I had.

Really Michael?  Honestly, can you play golf with your hands behind your back?

Go for it man, do it. 

George, George, George... 

Surely that was as good as a $100 million blockbuster for upping Michael Fassbender's Q Quotient round the world. 

ACE Eddie Nominations. Will They Transfer to Oscar?

The editors have spoken. Though editing is an artform that greatly fascinates me I nearly always take issue with the ACE nominations. More than most craftsmen, the editors in the guild and in Oscar's editing branch seem to just pick their favorite Best Picture contenders every year even in cases where the editing might not be anywhere close to its strongest element. I understand why people love Hugo for example -- I really do despite my protestations -- but even though I think Thelma Schoonmaker is one of the most gifted editors who ever walked the earth, her work on Hugo is not up to her general (very high) standards. I've discussed this with Nick several times so I know I wasn't imagining it. We were both flabbergasted at the amount of shot / reverse shots where the children just sort of stare at each other blankly in scene after scene.

There is so much dead space in that picture weighing it down. Not trying to pick on Thelma but their choices across the board just look like they were trying to catch up on the Oscar buzz.

COMEDY or MUSICAL Nominees

• The Artist - Anne-Sophie Bion & Michel Hazanavicius
• Bridesmaids - William Kerr & Michael L Sale
• Midnight in Paris - Alisa Lepselter
• My Week With Marilyn - Adam Recht
• Young Adult - Dana E Glauberman

Another interesting point of discussion is Bridesmaids. Given the improvisational nature of the performances, it must have been hell to edit (a very enjoyable kind of hell) so points for managing and it definitely takes great editing skill to make that many jokes land. So props to Kerr & Sale (who are far from the least worthy nominee in this lineup). But, with the compliments out of the way, isn't one of the main criticisms of Bridesmaids that it feels shapeless, haphazard and that it's way too long? And isn't editing a great factor in whether or not movies feel that way?

Dana Glauberman at the Hollywood Awards last yearMy favorite nomination here might be Dana Glauberman's (pictured left)  for Young Adult. I think she's really special as editors go (see also: Up in the Air for which she was absurdly not Oscar nominated). Her work for Reitman tends to have great rhythm, the cut choices are smart and it's just tight tight tight. There is no fat on that picture whatsoever.

Will any of the comedy nominees make it to Oscar? The Artist might. You could also argue that editing is even slightly more crucial to the success of comedy (it's all in the timing) and action (it's all in the rhythms and sustained tension) than to dramatic pictures. And yet with Oscar you'll find that mostly drama is honored... because that's where the "best pictures" are located. In short, I'd like the editors to think a little harder on their selections from year to year. 

DRAMA Nominees

• The Descendants -Kevin Tent
• The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo - Angus Wall & Kirk Baxter
• Hugo - Thelma Schoonmaker
• Moneyball - Christopher Tellefsen
• War Horse - Michael Kahn

Christopher Tellefsen in the editing bayMy vote -- if only I had one -- would go to Christopher Tellefsen in a split second. Moneyball had such great easy flow, consistently engaging whether it was cutting from footage to flashback to the linear story being told, and really attuned to the nuances of Brad Pitt's star turn.

Will all of these make it to Oscar?
I truly think Tellefsen is deserving, which is why I worry he's the most likely to be dropped when Oscar nominations roll in. Argh!

ANIMATED FEATURE Nominees

• The Adventures of Tintin - Michael Kahn
• Puss in Boots -Eric Dapkewicz
• Rango - Craig Wood

More nominations for television over at the American Cinema Editors official site. 

Morning After. Three Globey Flashbacks, One Winners List

1. Miss Golden Globe y'all.

It's Andie Macdowell's daughter Rainey Qualley. She totally did a great job, directing traffic with those arms like she was born to work on a tarmac guiding 747s to their gates. I mean this in the nicest possible way because some Miss Double Gs totally shirk their navigational responsibilities. She was just not having people stand in the wrong spot.

2.  Uggie is Made of Ham

Not only was he pulling focus during the Best Picture speech, he was also working the red carpet, with or without Penelope Ann Miller as Vanna White. I hope he's being compensated well.

3. Laura Dern, a skinny Christmas Tree with THE FACE on top.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

Complete Winners List in case you missed it... I know I missed a few of these during the live blog.

MOVIES
Picture, Drama: “The Descendants.”

Picture, Musical or Comedy: “The Artist.”

Actor, Drama: George Clooney, “The Descendants.”

Actress, Drama: Meryl Streep, “The Iron Lady.”

Director: Martin Scorsese, “Hugo.”

Actor, Musical or Comedy: Jean Dujardin, “The Artist.”

Actress, Musical or Comedy: Michelle Williams, “My Week With Marilyn.”

Supporting Actor: Christopher Plummer, “Beginners.”

Supporting Actress: Octavia Spencer, “The Help.”

Foreign Language: “A Separation.”

Animated Film: “The Adventures of Tintin.”

Screenplay: Woody Allen, “Midnight in Paris.”

Original Score: Ludovic Bource, “The Artist.”

Original Song: “Masterpiece” (music and lyrics by Madonna, Julie Frost, Jimmy Harry), “W.E.”

TELEVISION

Series, Drama: “Homeland,” Showtime.

Series, Musical or Comedy: “Modern Family,” ABC.

Actor, Drama: Kelsey Grammer, “Boss.”

Actress, Drama: Claire Danes, “Homeland.”

Actress, Musical or Comedy: Laura Dern, “Enlightened.”

Actor, Musical or Comedy: Matt LeBlanc, “Episodes.”

Miniseries or Movie: “Downton Abbey (Masterpiece),” PBS.

Actress, Miniseries or Movie: Kate Winslet, “Mildred Pierce.”

Actor, Miniseries or Movie: Idris Elba, “Luther.”

Supporting Actress, Series, Miniseries or Movie: Jessica Lange, “American Horror Story.”

Supporting Actor, Series, Miniseries or Movie: Peter Dinklage, “Game of Thrones.”

Golden Globe-ing It. Live Blog

6:15 Welcome to the ???nth annual Golden Globes Live Blog. Now with more fever, saltines and ginger ale. I am sick so it is a rare Golden Globes without booze. Which should be illegal. (How to survive the Gervais Smug-a-Thon without a Vodka-Thon?) The first vision that greeted me was George Clooney of whom I am currently bored with (It'll pass), the second vision was Octavia Spencer and Melissa McCarthy gabbing silently. At one point Melissa even cupped her hand to tell Octavia a secret.

I would've voted for you since I wasn't nominated!"

Maybe? 

6:31 Jessica Chastain all giggly and Celia-esque while talking to E! reporters. She even did cute little spins and hand flips to demonstrate her Givenchy. But the camera people and booth barkers at E! never ever take their meds. They pan up and down. They shift focus. They put one celeb in a tiny box while another poses. They 360º it. My head spins. And it's not from the sick.

6:39 Sarah Michelle Gellar let her two year old choose her dress. Way to armor yourself against the fashion police reviews. SMG's idea of good date night is IHOP. The more you know! 

6:40 Diane Lane looking like a movie star as usual. A movie star without movies, unfortunately.

6:47 My cat is howling. He is not impressed with celebrities or my sweatshirt and sweatpants and ginger ale ensemble. The other day he stopped in his tracks to watch the TV for a full 10 minutes which has not happened since Microcosmos. What paralyzed him with interest? A PBS show Birds of the God - Birds of Paradise. 

6:49 And no Monty has not told me what he thought of any of the Oscar movies since Bridesmaids He is like the Haley's comet of Oscar pundits.

6:52 Rooney Mara is truly terrible at being interviewed. But then Ryan Seacrest is asking her whether she kept her "intimate piercings" from Dragon Tattoo so it would take a sassy pro to deflect that and own the situation. She merely says 'some of them. I didn't want to have to repierce'. No no noRooney. You don't answer those questions. You deflect that either sassily, mysteriously, flirtatiously or... if all else fails, a  look that could kill. We know you have the latter in your arsenal.

poll by twiigs.com

 7:07 Bérénice Bejo has not seen The Artist in three months. #uselessredcarpetconfessions.

7:09 Commercial break. Starting to feel a bit better. Having fish for dinner. Cat howling to commence again in 5...4...3...

7:15 Charlize Theron needs to give every young starlet lessons in red carpet banter. She is so excellent at it -- even with laryngitis. MORE with Theron, Moore, Pfeiffer, Streep and the lot of 'em.

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Box Office: Dolly & Queen vs. Cher & Xtina?

I would have been all about Joyful Noise this weekend, had I not been suddenly ill. I even had to miss a bestie's birthday dinner. Boo! I think it's worth noting that Joyful Noise had a nearly identical debut to Burlesque in 2010.

Opening Day
Burlesque (11/24/10) | Joyful Noise (01/13/12)
Weekend Gross
Burlesque $11.9 |  Joyful Noise $11.3
Weekend Rank
Burlesque #4 | Joyful Noise #4
Theater Count
Burlesque 3,037 | Joyful Noise 2,735
Per Screen Average
Burlesque $3,934 |  Joyful Noise  $4,148

Given that Burlesque opened during holiday craziness (lotsa movie-going) and Joyful Noise opened in January's dumping ground, you might have to hand this battle to Joyful Noise. But will it be able to beat Burlesque's final gross of $39.4 domestic / $89.5 international? I say this with the caveat that I have not seen it yet but from the stills and trailer it certainly looks cheaper than Burlesque production wise so perhaps it'll turn out a much tidier profit. I can't imagine that it's better than Burlesque though. But we shall see. Or rather I shall see the second I feel like venturing out into the cold again.

poll by twiigs.com

Takeaway: $11.5 million opening weekends are the new decorative fanciful glass ceiling for dueling multi-media singing divas.

BAKERS DOZEN (Estimates)
01 CONTRABAND  $24.1 new  
02 BEAUTY & THE BEAST 3D  $18.4 rerelease  
03 MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE -  GHOST PROTOCOL $11.5 (cum. $186.7)
04 JOYFUL NOISE  $11.3 new
05 SHERLOCK HOLMES: A GAME OF SHADOWS $8.4 (cum. $170)
06 THE DEVIL INSIDE $7.9 (cum. $46.2)
07 THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO  $6.8 ($87.9)
08 ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS: CHIPWRECKED $5.8  (cum. $118.7)
09 WAR HORSE $5.6 (cum. $65.7)
10 THE IRON LADY $5.3 wide (cum. $5.9)
11 WE BOUGHT A ZOO $5.2  (cum. $63.6)
12 THE ADVENTURES OF TINTIN $4 (cum. $67.7)
13 TINKER TAILOR SOLDIER SPY  $3.1 (cum. $15.1) 

Talking Points
• Beauty and the Beast had a successful first weekend but nothing compared to The Lion King. I hate rooting against such a great movie but the whole 3D craze? Oh, I hate it more and more each month. Do. not. want. I do not want to wear glasses while watching movies. I just don't. It never adds enough to the experience, even in its best moments, to justify changing the whole freaking experience of the movies. GO AWAY.

• A Separation continues to fill its theaters but it has yet to expand. Are SPC letting their tiny window on this one close? Let's suppose someone watching this week's awards shows (BFCA thursday & GLOBES tonight) wanted to see it after Thursday's win and tonight's possible win? Nope. They're out of luck. Just 6 theaters for this one in its third week. Carnage finally expanded in its 5th week but interest in it looks to have already crashed. Too bad it didn't open when competition was less severe for all-star adult-oriented films.

• Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows just lept-frogged The Help and Bridesmaids on 2011's top box office chart. Now, the top dozen have no originals among them - only franchise movies allowed at the top of the charts. This is why we can't have nice things and it's also our fault as audience members. We need to stop chasing old highs at the box office. Seeking out familiar experiences is what television series are for. That's their whole raison d'etre, the same characters each week but with new twists on the same old via new chapters. That's not what movies should be for. Different strengths and different purposes for different mediums.

What did you see this weekend?