Who Wore It Best? 80s Adventure Hunks Edition

Dancin' Dan here with a little bit of Actor Month fun. Witness has already hit us with its best shots, but I'm not quite ready to let Harrison Ford go just yet. Watching Witness for the first time can make you yearn for younger Ford, because.... MAN was he so perfectly, ruggedly handsome in the 80s (and throughout most of the 90s). None of his roles captured that ruggedly handsome side of him quite so much as Indiana Jones, who is one of the best movie characters of all time.

But I'm unfairly stuffing the ballot box before the question. Who wore the "80s Adventurer Look" best? Tell us in the comments!

Harrison Ford's brilliant almost fearless (why did it have to be snakes?) archelogist/adventurer Indiana Jones is a prime hunk of man, but not exactly alone in the world of ruggedly handsome 80s franchise adventurers... There is also Michael Douglas's Jack T. Colton from Romancing the Stone.

There is also Michael Douglas's Jack T. Colton from Romancing the Stone / The Jewel of the Nile. A bit wilder than Indy, to be sure, but the loose canon aspect can be a turn-on, and he doesn't have a professorial day job to keep him buttoned-up at any point.

On Deadpool's Overhyped Sexuality

Social justice warriors argue that "Straight White Male" ought not to be a default setting and they're right - it's a wide & diverse world. Arguably nowhere is this default more set in stone than in superhero movies.

I actually rushed out to see Deadpool this weekend because it promised to be something different in this regard. This, despite no real desire to see the movie since the hard obnoxious sell felt like flop sweat (though it sure as hell worked and no flopping occurred). I didn't end up reviewing the film but this piece I wrote for Towleroad is as close as I got. It's called "Pansexual Antihero or Gaybaiting Joke?" because the buzz surrounding the smart ass mutant's sexual desires is empty.

Here's an excerpt but I hope you'll read the whole thing...

Deadpool fits comfortably in the X-verse, being a mutant, but also by selling the troubled 'otherness' that is the X-Men's chief inclusive draw for moody adolescents and beyond. He's neither hero nor villain, but an amoral guy who discovers he has cancer. His superpowers are unlocked through a sadistic experiment to rid himself of the cancer which leaves him badly disfigured but incapable of being killed. This anti-hero has been described as "omnisexual" by the writer of his comic and the media has consistently referred to him at "pansexual". But is he either of those things, or just a typical straight guy who loves a good dick joke?

extra random thoughts about the movie after the jump...

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Charlize Theron Plays Fast & Furiosa With Her Action Star Potential

Daniel here. If your Charlize senses have been tingling lately then it’s fair to assume your road rage has set in: Variety reports that Universal is circling Imperator Furiosa herself to star as the lead villain in Fast 8, the latest model in their rubber-burning line of Fast & Furious flicks. 

Gallons of credit go to this high-octane franchise for encouraging onscreen diversity and staging sky-is-the-limit set pieces, sure, but just because Charlize Theron can drive, it doesn’t mean she needs to take your wheel.

The main attractions in a Fast & Furious are smash ‘em up automotive melees with basic visuals broken up by character-light screeds on the true meaning of family; you’ll find none of Mad Max: Fury Road’s kinetic wizardry or redemptive arcs. Pitting their rogue gallery of villains against Charlize Theron is like straight-up reaching for the wrong Ben & Jerry’s pint. Jason Statham or Luke Evans’ unhinged, kitchen sink nutsos are more Everything But The… whereas her slow burn Coffee Coffee BuzzBuzzBuzz charisma sneaks up on you before you realize your heart’s about to explode.

Surely we can find a better action franchise for our feminist warrior to throttle into high gear. And, yes, options are aplenty.

• ALIENS. The logical place to start is unfortunately a moot point. The Aliens series already had their chance for another fearless Ripley type in Ridley Scott’s underrated franchise refraction Prometheus, where you’ll remember (or not) that she was relegated to playing comatose corporate ethics incarnate, Meredith Vickers.

• BOND. Although her co-star Idris Elba is everyone’s favorite hypothetical James Bond, it’s a safe bet that she could outsmug Craig, outdrink Connery, and outlast Lazenby. 

• MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE. Let’s relieve Tom Cruise of jet-hugging duty and let Agent Charlize hunt down snipers at the opera in Mission: Impossible.

At the very least, she’s a shoo-in for that rumored all X-chromosome Ocean’s Eleven. Which action franchise should Charlize Theron anchor instead of Fast 8?

Action Sequences: Man vs Bear, Max vs Furiosa.

The Film Bitch Awards "extra" categories have commenced. We've already discussed Ensembles, Breakthrough, and Casting and now we hit Action Sequences. These are sometimes hard to define as with the much celebrated fourth installment of Mad Max which could be described in its entirety as "chase sequence" but I've tried to break it down a bit for these purposes. Given the choreography, wonder and passion happening on Fury Road the bar was high and even hugely entertaining fight sequences that I thought would be easy placements for the category like the "Hulkbuster" fight in The Avengers: Age of Ultron or technical wows like Johnson vs. Sporino in Creed (all in one continuous shot!) were edged out.

Films with standard action setpieces, whatever their other strengths, like the two biggest blockbusters of the year (The Force Awakens and Jurassic World) or films with inventive brief moments that didn't quite transcend their otherwise rote action beats (Ant-Man) didn't really stand a chance in this high energy competition that put the motion in motion pictures.

Click the image for more on fine action sequences of the past year in cinema

Thoughts I Had... while staring at this photo from the set of "xXx: The Return of Xander Cage"

Thoughts I had in the order they came to me after the jump...

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