The Pig Wears Prada

The Pig Wears Prada... and probably has a huge dry cleaning billThree quick things this morning.

1) Guess who feels like a little piggy after Thanksgiving? I was doing okay until divvying up leftovers for guests and kept finding errant pieces of pie that just couldn't fit into tupperware that had to be eaten right then and there. By me. Couldn't let the whip cream go bad either.

poll by twiigs.com

2) Did anyone watch "A Very Gaga Thankgiving"?  Her voice sounded tremendous and the costumes were restrained elegant weirdness instead of standard not-ready-to-wear weirdness (points for mixing it up) but otherwise blech. Every song became a ballad (not every song should be a ballad) and almost no verse could be sung through without multiple stops for self-regarding monologues. The show felt like it lasted 3 hours and Gaga was jumping all kinds of sharks named Self-Seriousness and Absence of Perspective. Let us get this straight Gaga, you felt bullied at school because you a) had to sit at a table that wasn't the cool table off to side with your friends (ewww. who would ever want to eat with their friends?! Gross) and b) because people ridiculed your hair for being too beautiful? Unnhhnh.... 

3) For my weekly column @ Towleroad I've listed 10 great things about this particular Thanksgiving weekend and your movie options at home or at the multiplex. The Muppets got a general spot but after the fact I wished I'd mentioned that Miss Piggy looks hot in Prada but Emily Blunt's cameo only made me wish she'd find another role as worthy of her comic talents as the one she had in The Devil Wears Prada. 

Now it is time to eat breakfast. Breakfast called "Pie".

Julianne is Dope. Also: Links

The Far From Heaven team cleaning up at the Indie Spirits in 2003IndieWire so it looks like it's really happening *sniffle* Julianne Moore is moving to television. After that Sarah Palin telefilm turn she's doing a pilot for an HBO series called Dope.

But it's not all bad news: Todd Haynes and Christine Vachon are involved so it's essentially the great Far From Heaven team. Cross your fingers that it's worthy of their collective gifts! It'll have to be really really special to be that. 

The series would be set in the 1950s and is based on this novel. Publishers Weekly describes Moore's character like so.

Josephine "Joe" Flannigan, is a former heroin addict and hooker who has recast herself as a petty thief and con. Working her home turf, New York City's Hell's Kitchen, she is taken up by a mysterious well-to-do couple to find their addict daughter, expelled from Barnard and lost to the streets. 

So there's room for great acting. We shall see.

The Linkies
The Wrap Patti Smith is working on a biopic of sorts -- it's based on her memoirs of her early years with photographer Robert Mapplethorpe in the late 60s/early 70s -- with screenwriter John Logan. Who on earth could play Patti Smith? She's kinda strange looking and Hollywood only hires beauties. Here's what they looked like when the movie would take place.

ArtsBeat David Cronenberg's A Dangerous Method will get a gala screening at the NYFF.
Latina Antonio Banderas on his long artistic separation from Pedro Almodóvar 'tween Tie Me Up! Tie Me Down! and The Skin I Live In (coming soon... and also getting a gala NYFF screening).

And speaking of Almodóvar, how amazing is this Rossy de Palma wall art by Adrian Valencia? I went to his site via a series of Lady Gaga drawings that are just stellar. 

© Adrian Valencia, 2011

 The Funnies
Ultra Culture "Cowboys and Aliens Fact Sheet"
My New Plaid Pants Quote of the Day from Jean Claude Van Damme [nsfw] 
The Hairpin an amusing review of Rise of the Planet of the Apes with drawings 
I09 "ten vestigial traits you didn't know you had". Robert Gonzalez, who wrote this, is funny. 
Bachmanneyezed a new tumblr  

Eye Candy: Slave Boys, Female Heroes, Werewolf Routines

The Week in Eye Candy. You deserve it. It's almost the weekend. Soak up the color, the bods, the glamour. Enjoy the diva and the doodles. There's something for everyone unless you're so niche you're impossible to please in which case scroll quickly away (try puzzles or trailers or Oscar buzz)

Jamie the Slave Boy

The Eagle hit DVD (well apart from Netflix which is on a epically annoying month-delay now). Director, Please thinks the whole movie makes no sense on account of why would Channing Tatum spare slave boy Jamie Bell's life...unless there was lust involved. Well, yes. Fair point. But does audience lust count?

Lea Seydoux's Breasts 

She didn't get to roll on the floor or handle fire arms in Midnight in Paris (note that old vinyl records don't pack a punch) but she gets to do just that in the Mission: Impossible -Ghost Protocol trailer. Her girls look even better in action... 

Jude Law, Lady Gaga and more after the jump

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Linkland: Thelma & Louise, Marion & Melanie, Regina & Shawn

Movie|Line "what the box office skeptics are missing about Super 8"?
In Contention does not like Super 8. "Super h8ted it" Uh oh.
Just Jared Dakota Fanning's High School Graduation. Congrats Dakota!
Mister Hipp "sometimes you can still catch me dancing in it" - just lovely. Still my favorite Tim Burton film.
Kenneth in the (212) Thelma & Louise, 20 years later (in Toronto.) Awwww I ♥. Sadly, Brad Pitt was not there.
Tom Shone loves Melanie Laurent in Beginners. As do I.
The Critical Condition has a really interesting question/thought about Marion Cotillard in Midnight in Paris. NOTE: Don't read it until after you've seen the movie!
Splash Page talks to Chris Evans about working on The Avengers.

X-Men "Born This Way" Parody.

Teehee. Fun lyrics although some may quibble about Magneto not being... that other way.

Finally, Scott Feinberg shares the nominees for the 1st annual BTJA "Critics Choice" Awards. Mad Men cleans up but the interesting part is the Emmy-diversion details: Glee is nominated but Jane Lynch is the only cast member with a nomination; they're absolutely nuts for all AMC shows; and Southland got a nomination for Shawn Hatosy (yes!) but not for Regina King (boo!). If you watch Southland you'll know that Hatosy's role got crazy intense this past season as his screen partner Kevin Alejandro was killed (so that he could sex up Lafayette on True Blood... or was that a post-job-loss career get?) and Hatosy's character broke down hard. But the MVP of this show is still Regina King. Go Regina!

Red Carpet: MTV Girls, Super Empathy, and Lively Nudity

Previously on red carpet lineup Nathaniel and Jose discussed Cannes gowns and Kurt and Nathaniel chatted about the annual Met Gala. In today's episode, Nathaniel and Jose discuss the MTV Movie Awards fashion.

Nathaniel: ‬ ‪This time we're starting a bit "off cinema" -- although calling the MTV Movie Awards cinema related is a stretch -- for a brief look at the CDFA Awards held this week in New York City.‬

Lady Gaga, Lady Watts, Lady Sevigny, Housewife Marcia

Jose: ‬ ‪Wait, is that the thing where Gaga is? I assumed this lineup was the MTV awards too. Ha. I obviously missed both ceremonies

Nathaniel:‬ ‪Yep. The Council of Fashion Designers honored the industry's biggest designers as is their habit. But they also gave an award to Lady Gaga. Isn't giving Gaga a fashion award kind of like giving Angelina Jolie a Fame Award. Like...

"Congratulations: You are You!!!"

Jose: ‬ ‬ ‪She should receive fashion awards at the Cattle Salesman Council, not the fashion council.‬
She's always so coy about it, like "oh, you think I'm special?", I hate that. ‪Despite my love of McQueen I personally think that you should be able to "wear" fashion and these awards should go to people who encourage that‬

Nathaniel:‬ I hesitated to include Gaga in the Lineup o Actresses because lord knows the woman CANNOT act (see: music videos and SNL). I wish so bad that she'd make a movie because people would finally stop kicking Madonna for her shaky thespian tendencies. But I have a larger point to make.‬

Which is that if you're attending such a thing, shouldn't you do what Chloe Sevigny and Marcia Cross are doing and NOT what Naomi Watts is doing? Something eyepopping or you might as well be wallpaper.

Jose: To be honest, I'd rather have my Naomi fix in this wallflower-ish type, cause she's made some hideous choices in the past‬. Remember that dress she wore to the Oscars that made her look like King Kong had recently attacked her? This is careless copying, though. This is essentially what Gwynnie wore to the Oscars this year, but short and shapeless.

Nathaniel:‬ And bland. Here's the thing with blond actresses that are not particularly unusually eye-popping in some way. They're like grains of sand on the beach. There are millions of others with whom you are indistinguishable unless you're giving it a little something extra.‬ Naomi overcompensates onscreen sometimes by ACTING but undercompensates on the red carpet.

Jose: I say let's pull a Freaky Friday on Gaga and Naomi.

Nathaniel: !!! Wonderful idea.

Jose: Gaga looking human would be more surprising than anything else.

Nathaniel: Totes. I keep waiting for her to have her own "Live to Tell" moment where suddenly she's just in a simple flowery dress with pretty hair. That was SO shocking at the time for Madonna.‬ That's got to happen eventually.

Jose: ‬ ‬ ‪I'd love to see what she wore when she was just plain old "Gaga from the block", even Madge is down to earth now (in Louis Vuitton of course)‬

Nathaniel: I like that Chloe's top feels rubbery and sentient and winged... I suddenly picture her as Professor X's love Empress Lilandra of the Shi'Ar but I have mutants on the brain.

Jose: That makes total sense. She wouldn't even need CGI to display weird powers.‬

Lilandra and Dazzler of late 70s/early 80s X-Men fame

Nathaniel:‬ ‪Heh. I know I've said this very recently in another red carpet post but everyone is conspiring to make me think of 70s DAZZLER from the X-Men lately.

Jose: ‬ ‪Marcia looks stunning. I'm pretty sure she's looked the same since the 70's, maybe she's a mutant herself‬.

Nathaniel: These sparkly disco jumpsuits! There needs to be an X-Men Origins: Dazzler movie to fully bring back the 1970s. Fashion is trying to take us there anyway.‬

Jose: And I'd love to see Cross in a catfight with Jennifer Lawrence. ‪I say, let's put 'em all in rollerskates and have ourselves a Xanadu-Men: First Class!‬

Nathaniel: Damnit. Now I have to go masturbate.

Jose: LOL. It's too early for that here.

Nathaniel: Self-love knows no time zones!‬ Speaking of masturbatory.... let's move on to the MTV Twilight Awards.‬

Jose: ‬ ‬ ‪Ew, fine.

Nathaniel:‬ ‪This first lineup of lovely ladies demonstrates to us that it's A) summer at last B) short skirts are in.‬

Emma Watson, Mini-Dakota, Emma Stone, KStew, Queen Reese

Jose:  ‬ ‪I remember the time when the fine people of the planet voted for movies like Scream and Lord of the Rings in those awards, heck they even gave Nicole Kidman a trophy for Moulin Rouge! when Oscar ignored her‬

Nathaniel:‬ ‪I was just talking about this to a friend yesterday at lunch. You sound like an old curmudgeon when you say: back in my day they used to vote for good movies! but in this case it's not nostalgia, it's plain-ass facts.

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