Misleading Headline Of the Week!

Saw this on my google reader feed via Coming Soon yesterday and giggled.

It's technically true but if it were literally true -- Julianne Moore AS Carrie - I'd have to rethink my preemptory distaste for the movie. Dear god (aka Julianne), I'd have to quit scoffing altogether! I'm suddenly picturing a completely different completely unfaithful reimagined Carrie in which a shy 51 year old fire-haired virgin goes telekinetically mental on her town. What would prompt it? And which 70something actress could play Julianne's crazy bible-thumping mother?

Though it seems patently ridiculous to imagine a better Margaret White performance than the one Piper Laurie took to an Oscar nomination in the Seventies, Moore is no slouch when it comes to maternal mania. I am therefore, forced to be intrigued a tiny bit. If Julianne takes the role that is...

Will she or won't she? Should she?

Type @ Me: Leo Drowns, Josh Barks, Nicole Poses

My time has been atypically divided lately and I've missed the social interactions that are part of blogging full time, whether that's rapidfire tweeting or IMing or whatever. So in the absence of your comments (seriously a Les Miz dropping without comments? first time for everything!) I thought I'd share some brief movies notes from friends/readers via text, facebook, twitter and such that made me giggle this past week about topics you just might have been texting your own friends about.

1. Titanic is a really long movie and friends get impatient when you're watching it and are supposed to meet them. 

He forgot to type "Spoiler Alert". 

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2. Readers know from Kidmania. Respect the actressexuality!

Jei Dee is psychic. Love this I do. Honestly I haven't been this excited for a Nicole Kidman performance (Cannes entry Paperboy) since the musical Nine. Not that that one turned out spectacularly well but I'm talking about preemptive enthusiasms. shut up. I loved Nine on stage. What can I say?

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3. One of my friends likes to torture me with incessant Chloe Moretz related messages. Stop it!

I can't keep blogging about the Carrie remake but yes, Julianne's involvement would make it SO CONFLICTING somewhat confusing for me. If only because my Julianne Completism would force me to actually see the sure to be stillborn movie. If you missed the post about why I'm already in hate with the movie, that's here.

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4. The reader poll "who is cuter: Josh Hutherson or his special-needs puppy?" prompted this response which gave me good lolz 

Hee. Weirdly Josh Hutcherson is winning said poll. I guess you're all cat people (yay!)

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5. "Chloe" himself Drew Droege responded to my "nineties" nostalgia article dedicated to him.

Unexpected shout-outs are heartwarming. This was almost as exciting as that time on Oscar night live-blogging when Sandra Bernhardt tweeted me about my strong [ahem] feelings about her snub in the 80s for The King of Comedy. 

Name Dropping for the Finale!

That's all.

We need a dumb catchy word like "sexting" that's about movie texts, don't we? Nothing works. "Flixting"? pues no. Let's come up with one, shall we?

March. It's a Wrap

March happened at me. I hope yours was better. The blog has been a bit more tepid than usual in the post Oscar malaise and all around off-blog madness. But here were ten highlights from the month in case you also were caught between rocks and hard places or entire boulders and cliff faces.

Burning Questions: To Read or Not To Read in this age of adaptations, Michael wonders whether it's better to read the book first or see the film.
Cosmopolis + Cronenberg nine favorite images from the f'ed up teaser. 
Ladyhawke the third season of "hit me with your best shot" kicked off with a bird-like Pfeiffer and the wolfen Rutger Hauer 
The Hunger Games reviewed

Carrie Off Broadway the 70s horror classic is a thing again
Stupid News: Chloe as Carrie a terrible casting idea. They're all going to laugh at you, Moretz! 
Divas & Heroes more Film Bitch Awards 
Distant Relatives second season series finale. Thanks, Robert

Most Comments Burning Question: The New Classic Quotes. Everyone had an opinion about which recent film quotes would endure beyond this decade.
Most Popular A Game Change for Julianne Moore come awards time?

Coming in April: First Oscar Predictions of the New Film Year, Easter Parade, Snow White and the Seven Dwarves, April Showers, the return of Take Three, Mad Men and 1966, and the Titanic Centennial... that colossal both just keeps sinking. Much more to come if you keep coming back and start commenting again.

Stupid News of the Decade: Chloe Moretz as "Carrie"

Sigh.

Breaking news: Chloe Moretz has accepted the lead role in the remake of Carrie. The news broke. It broke all the goodness in the world.

Not that a remake of Carrie wasn't a uniquely terrible idea all on its own without a hand from Chloe! The original is bloody perfect and Sissy Spacek's fragile overwhelmed and finally furiously catatonic performance is unimproveable. Frankly it's the stupidest casting I've heard since that time decades ago when Nicolas Cage was going to play Superman. This is like asking George Clooney to play an ugly unsophisticated charmless schlub virgin or asking Tilda Swinton to be uninteresting. Some things are just impossible.

No matter what one thinks of Chloe as an actress there is this fact: she exudes confidence. She's like a teflon teen. Not one atom in her body seems fragile or confused or meek. Yes, yes, she's an actress and you can play things other than yourself. But. But. Everything about her persona / aura / being reads wrong for this. She'd be more convincing remaking Aliens as Ripley or remaking No Country for Old Men as Anton Chigurh. Or maybe The Silence of the Lambs as both Clarice and Hannibal. This is what happens when Hollywood bases their casting on "who's hot" and does it without imagination.

Executive: "Hey, we've seen her bloodsplattered (Let Me In) and killing (Kick Ass) already. She can do that. ZOMG she's perfect for it!!!"

Kimberly Peirce is directing. She started off strong with Boys Don't Cry (1999). Her second feature Stop Loss (2008) had its moments but barely caused a blip. This third outing can't end well. And I don't mean for the kids at the prom.

I'm trying to be nice but JA gave this the most apt funny headline... "Chloe Moretz Burns in Hell"

Stage Door: Carrie White, Sweeney Todd, and More...

Some people just can't be killed. Carrie White is one of them.

The bastard girl was born from a sweaty brief affair between religious fanatic Margaret White and a man unknown. (Maybe Margaret doesn't even know since the memory of sex seems to fill her with such masochistic horndog fever; can we trust anything that pours from her mouth not to have been thoroughly reworked by her demented faith?) By 1974 the shy teenager was infamous having massacred her whole town in the pages of Stephen King's best seller "Carrie". Brian de Palma's film adaptation Carrie (1976) immortalized the teenage telekinetic once and for all. Carrie White "burns in hell" but she's still aflame in popular culture, too. There will be no snuffing her out.

So what better time to resurrect her again than now when teen bullying is such a hot news topic? "Carrie" (the musical) was an infamous flop on Broadway in 1988 but the shy awkward girl has been given a makeover and is born again Off Broadway at the MCC Theater where she will rampage through April 22nd.

It's always a bit hard to imagine Carrie rampaging when you first meet her all shy awkward and lonely in that hell on earth: the high school locker room.

Marin Mazzie and Molly Ranson in "Carrie" Off Broadway

MORE AFTER THE JUMP...

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