TV at the Movies: "They're All Going to Laugh at You!"

Shall we have a small screen comment diversion? There are two things in particular that are urging this post on. One: Gwyneth Paltrow as "Holly Holiday" wisecracking sexed up substitute teacher on Glee and Raja's increasingly commendable and now movie-spoofing creativity on RuPaul's Drag Race.

Let's take Raja first. Rita Rudner, who was the guest judge and comedy coach for this week's challenge (developing a comedy routine), was worried that people wouldn't have seen Carrie (1976) "I haven't seen it in 40 years" and therefore wouldn't get Raja's references. Oh Rita; the gays have seen Carrie! It's maybe not as obsessively worshipped as Baby Jane but it's up there. Raja came out wearing this.

Raja as Carrie, Raja as Herself

They're all going to laugh at you! (On purpose.)

I don't want to stress how much I love Raja and did long before he started referencing great movies like Heathers and Carrie verbally or with inspired visual gags. Basically when I love a contestant on any show they are doomed to come in second (or less) to someone hugely inferior. (I knew this was coming last season when Raven, who I was already crushing hard on, referenced Michelle Pfeiffer of all people. I was done!) I have the same weird mutant power to curse great actresses with my fandom, my love being the anti-Oscar. Do you have this power? Maybe it's our combined love that curses them? I'd prefer to share blame -- please, take some of it. Tell me someone you've cursed by loving them.  Only a lucky few escape this particular curse  -- Kidman, Winslet -- and then usually only by denying someone else that I'd rather call an Oscar winner! I'm sorry I/we did this to you Bening, Pfeiffer, Close, Turner, Moore, etcetera!

Speaking of Oscar winners, Gwyneth Paltrow revived some fan love when she absolutely killed in her guest spot on Glee months ago as the Lindsay Lohan mocking, Cee Lo singing, substitute Spanish teacher. Last night she was back to reprise the role, this time offering up some sex ed. Her first scene involving a cucumber and a condom was quite hilarious but she peaked early. The rest of the episode was an uncomfortable preachy weirdly discombobulated mess. Just like every other episode.

Let us fantasize about having so many musical-fix options available on TV and at the movies that we need have no great love for it. Yet we do. Gwyneth's voice is emotionally expressive and can flip from exuberant to sad and is really quite beautiful so the internet nastiness about her possible new record deal is just the typical hatesnark that ever plagues the great Web. If you can listen to her cover of Fleetwood Mac's "Landslide", or rather her cover of the Dixie Chicks cover of that song,  and think that she doesn't have musical chops, you should probably see an Otologist. Salon thinks Gwynnie's character, or at least what she's emblematic of, is ruining Glee. I get the argument but it's really hard to single out one troublesome element since Glee is quite obviously, emphatically and even proudly the Worst "Best" show on television.

To borrow from RuPaul herself, "Can I get an 'amen'"?

Or a second opinion?

The Linkozoic Era

I didn't really intend for this linklist to be so long but the internet kept handing me enjoyable things this morning. Thank you internets.

Stale Popcorn "Olivia Newton-John swinging from a chandelier" This Aussie comedy just went to the top of my wish list.
My New Plaid Pants JA expresses jealousy, warnings and commendations for Amanda Seyfriend's uh, active, Hollywood dating.
IndieWire Deneuve gets a standing ovation at the premiere of Potiche in NYC.

Right here i had an article which talked about the dinosaur-rumor in Terrence Malick's The Tree of Life (2011) but it's been taken down. But here is a still of Brad Pitt in the movie anyway!

Brad Pitt in "The Tree of Life"

Boy Culture William Orbit thinks Madonna's W.E. is really good.
Playbill Kathleen Turner to host the Drama League awards
Coming Soon Dreamworks Animation schedule until 2014. Heavy on the sequels, duh. Between this and Pixar's sequel heavy slate, I feel certain that the second golden age of animation will soon end. Only originality can keep a golden age going.

I saw this on Blog Stage and had to share it. Nicole Kidman at 16 (!!!) promoting BMX Bandits. I love how she's so matter-of-fact about the actors not being good enough to do their own stunts.

Nicole Kidman on Young Talent Time from Severin Films on Vimeo.

Film Doctor 8 notes on Rango
i09 on scifi television and the mythical "Summer Glau Curse"
Towleroad Eeek. Blade Runner's replicants are not so far away. Here's a mechanical clone of a guy in Denmark
Alt Film Guide picks up the baton I'm always a-carrying. What the hell does Oscar have against giving actresses Honorary Oscars?
Go Fug Yourself readers votes are in and the single Best and Worst dressed at the Oscars is revealed. Their best is my worst! But their worst wasn't even at the Oscars so I feel like it's cheating.

Finally...

Daily Mail I love this story. The baby of one of The King's Speech producers dropped his Oscar. Hee. A film critic is born?

Link Man

Oscar Stuff
NY Post bad press for the lucky Weinsteins. It waited till just after the Oscars to surface. Just like that King's Speech porn set situation happened after voting. Hmmmm.
Your Movie Buddy shows his Oscar night party food. Consider it a sequel to Alexa's Curio on Oscar snacks.
Gold Derby wonders if Hugh Jackman will be back to host Oscar soon. Quotes from Jackman.

Enough about that shiny gold man. Next!
Cinema Blend Is it Jennifer Lawrence vs Hailee Steinfeld for Hunger Games? They're very different choices.
Quiet Earth ranks every Philip K Dick screen adaptation in honor (?) of the opening of The Adjustment Bureau.
Pajiba assesses the career of Michael Biehn (The Terminator) post James Cameron. If you ask me it was super lame of Cameron not to squeeze him into Avatar somehow.
The Ampersand here's one for you TV buffs. "The Ghosts of Sitcoms Past" Can you name these characters?

Finally... Nicks Flick Picks wants your help on a class assignment. He teaches a film criticism course and he wants to know which of these "teasers" would entice you to read a full review and why? So click over and leave your (positive) comments. These are student reviews. They need encouragement. It's a good exercize if you've ever written a review yourself or just to suss out why you respond to the ones you do respond to.

Let the Leogend Grow!

You have to see this. Melissa Leo serving up ACTING on All My Children. Soap acting is the best because it's so unpolished and raw, like celebrities working without a net (aka stylist) on the red carpet, or anyone who isn't an Oscar-winner acting in a Clint Eastwood movie. One take realness!

Perhaps this has already made the rounds I do not know. I hate being sick! I'm conscious enough at this moment -- and only this moment -- to know that it arrived in my inbox before I passed out and my friends were making funnies about it none of which I could remember to steal for jokes here. (I recall that they were Julia Roberts based since Nick says that Julia auditioned for this role, which is too rich a detail to forgot. How he knows this I can't say but that boy knows everything.) One thing I will be stealing though is Dorian's title in the comments for our new Best Supporting Actress: "Leogend"

TV @ The Movies: "Meryl Streep Realness"

TV @ The Movies is a series that came to life because we always perk up when movies or movie actors are name-checked on the small screen. Who and what fillters into pop culture? And in what form?

Are any of you watching RuPaul's Drag Race Season 3? In the latest episode The Supermodel of The World gave her competing "gurls" scripts to film a movie trailer "Drag Queens in Outer Space: Return to Uranus". The acting in the final trailers was so hideous I didn't even remotely wish the fake movie was real and given that it was called "Drag Queens in Outer Space: Return to Uranus,"  that's a fail.

Shangela & Mimi discuss their upcoming performances

Shangela and Mimi Imfurst already hate each other and have become immediate rivals. This is because they're both crafty disingenuous camera hogs and nothing drives people crazier than seeing their unflattering traits reflected in other people. They're both continually making trouble (Shangela) or breaking down (Mimi) so as to log more camera time. Essentially, this is a fail safe ploy in the reality TV format: I already know their names and faces and the other queens are still bleeding together after two regular episodes. Mimi brags about her acting experience and on the read-through of the script, they have this exchange:

Shangela: You better get that Oscar, bitch.
Mimi Imfurst: I'm bringing Meryl Streep Realness. You gotta get ugly to win the gold.

As quotes go it's no "I was giving Michelle Pfeiffer bitch" uttered magnificently in season 2 by Raven (It's all downhill from Raven. Sigh). Meryl Streep Realness and the tried and trued De-Glam Oscar trick both make sense on their own but putting them together is like talking in gibberish. Streep has never had to downplay her beauty for Oscar's attention. In fact, her Best Actress Oscar went to arguably one of her most glamorous performances in Sophie's Choice. Yes, yes, she also deglams within the same film in flashbacks. But that's Meryl; she does it all. Except for maybe camp.

Okay, okay. That's not exactly true.

Mimi ended up going for full Leigh Bowery Artifice, Meryl Streep Realness never entering the picture.

But the queens weren't done paying homage/defaming the prestige screen divas. Later Stacy Lane Matthew's performance as "Lady Tata" in the sci-fi trailers prompted comparisons to none other than Dame Judi Dench.

Stacy: Honey, I don't know who in the hell I was.
Shangela: Girl, you were some British bitch.
Mimi: You were Judi Dench giving us Shakespeare.
Shangela: Where in the hell did you get that accent Miss Back Swamp North Carolina? Next thing you turn around you're a British bitch.
Stacy: Bitch, I was thinking Julia Child.

[Ahem]. Speaking of Streep Realness/Camp.

For reasons that are still unclear Lily Tomlin was a guest judge. (Sci-fi plus Lily? Why?) Strangely, she didn't say much and only made one funny.

If you were starring in "Drag Queens From Outer Space," which legendary actress would you be using for inspiration? Would you be okay with Lily Tomlin judging you?

RuPaul's Drag Race is available to watch online. If you dare.