Overheard @ Box Office: "You can't go wrong with Dr. Seuss"

Overheard on Friday:

Woman#1: (Defeated sounding) I have to take my son to see The Lorax. 
Cheerful Female Friend: Ohhh, you can't go wrong with Dr. Seuss!"  

Cheerful Female Friend has clearly not registered the atrocities Hollywood has often made from the good doctor's work. And when one thinks of the colorful wit and profound whimsy of Dr. Seuss surely mainstream heartthrobs like Zac Efron and Taylor Swift pop immediately to mind! What a, uhhhh, perfect vocal match.

But Cheerful Female Friend speaks for all of America. So testifies the box office!

BAKERS DOZEN (Estimates)
01 THE LORAX  $70.7 new  
02 PROJECT X  $20.7 new  
03 ACT OF VALOR $13.7 (cum. $45.2)
04 SAFE HOUSE  $7.2 (cum. $108.2)
05 TYLER PERRY'S GOOD DEEDS $7 (cum. $25.7)
06 JOURNEY 2 THE MYSTERIOUS ISLAND $6.9 (cum. $85.6)
07 THE VOW  $6.1 ($111.7)
08 THIS MEANS WAR  $5.6  (cum. $41.6)
09 GHOST RIDER: SPIRIT OF VENGEANCE $4.7 (cum. $44.8)
10 THE ARTIST $3.9 (cum. $37)

11 WANDERLUST  $3.8 (cum. $12.4)
12 GONE $3 (cum. $8.9)
13 CHRONICLE  $1.9 (60.8)

Talking Points

Reese, Amanda, and Jen have seen better box office days

• BLONDE BUT BANKABLE? Reese Witherspoon's movies are generally expensive to make but that return on investment these days. Yikes. This Means War is still a long way from recouping its budget. Jennifer Aniston movies have always had schizophrenic box office performance but Wanderlust is definitely on the weak side of her ticket-selling. How on earth was that sperm-switching comedy more attractive to moviegoers than this one? Meanwhile Amanda Seyfried hasn't been able to scare up crowds from Gone which is weirder. It's a genre flick and can't those usually open even without a name? $8 million for a serial killer picture after two weeks? Ouch. I'm sure it doesn't help that the ads totally make it seem like something Ashley Judd was making in the early 90s.

• EXCUSE ME, BUT WHO IS PAYING TO SEE GHOST RIDER: SPIRIT OF VENGEANCE? I mean, besides our masochistic Michael C. It's already made more money than 2011's "Best Picture"... which had a big uptick post Oscar of course (The Artist's co-nominees took falls but Hugo fell only 14% despite also debuting on DVD so maybe its constant name-checking on Sunday night convinced some holdouts?)

• A SEPARATION more than doubled its screen count and had its first million dollar weekend, bringing its total to $3.7 million at the US box office. That there is a big big number for a non-genre subtitled picture.

What did you see this weekend? Was it worth the money? I was having an offline recuperation weekend so I went to see a Norwegian band at The Bitter End that one of my friends recommended called Mhoo. They're so good. Have a listen! 

They told me they're going to SXSW so if you're heading to that festival check them out.

Even when I'm at non-film events I can't stop thinking of movies. While the girls were singing I kept thinking "Kiki Dunst and Leelee Sobieski should play them in a movie!" 

Red Carpet Globes Pt 1: Lisbeth is Wednesday

Last week on Red Carpet Convos, Joanna and I were trying on gowns; I borrowed Penelope's (don't judge) and she wore Evan Rachel's.  This week Kurt and I gawk at the Golden Globes but alas, there's no word on which of these dresses Joanna would wear.

Nathaniel: Welcome back to Red Carpet Convos, Kurt. This was meant to be a three-way but Joanna had a fashion emergency off stage of some sort. She's here in spirit and promises to return!‬
Kurt:  A Wardrobe malfunction, naturally.‬ 
Nathaniel: ...which very few ladies were actually having on the Globes red carpet. Everyone (well almost everyone) was so put together. Let's start with Best Actresses of Yore.

Miss 2005, Ms 2008, Dame 2006, Double Dipper 1988 & 1991, and Mrs 2002

poll by twiigs.com

‬

Kurt:  ‪Reese gets my Lazy Trophy of the evening. ‬Between the dress and that wind-blown hair, she looks like she's shooting Bridesmaids 2...in Chicago.
Nathaniel:  ‪Lazy is an odd adjective for Reese since her signature roles are so go-getter ambitious but career-wise and fashion wise. Okay, maybe.‬ 
Kurt:  ‪Yes on go-getter, but doesn't this outfit feel grab-and-go?‬
Nathaniel:  ‪I feel the same way about Kate Winslet since she's been doing only black and white for, what, four years now? Her walk-in s like hitting the "desaturate" button on Photoshop. But she looks sensational anyway.‬
Kurt: I'm with you. It's "matronly" as all the fashion cops have no doubt screeched, but she just looks so beautiful. I even like the clutch, i mean "trophy placeholder"
 

Nathanile: Hee. Hey, trophies are the best red carpet accessories. Did you hear Helen Mirren doing the voice of Becky on last night's Glee?‬ 
Kurt:  ‪ha! no! the boyfriend and i missed Glee. we watched Stage Beauty, with Claire and Billy Crudup.
Nathaniel:  ‪My deepest apologies. You're still functional this morning?‬ 
Kurt:  ‪hahaha...aw. yes, it's a mess. but in terms of sexuality, i had fun.‬ 
Nathaniel:  ‪That sentence out of context! Watch...

in terms of sexuality, i had fun.‬ 
-Kurt 

Kurt:  ‪omg indeed‬. whoops. But back to this damn dame. Regal as always. Definitely red carpet MVP year in year out‬

Yes, she did!Nathaniel:  I think Jodie wore this color for her first Oscar win? Anyway, it's my favorite color on her. 
Kurt:  ‪I do like Jodie's outfit; however i keep getting, A Fish Called Jodie‬ 
Nathaniel:  ‪A Fish Called Jodie. Now I am imagining Jodie seducing Jamie Lee Curtis ...in French.
Kurt: It could happen.  I know everyone loves nicoles dress, but, bless her, she's such a perennial offender for me. and this number looks like her kids glued macaroni all over it
Nathaniel: Wrong. Jodie and Nicki Kidman Nicki Kidman both look like the movie stars they are. Or were...? The weirdest thing about winning an Oscar is sometimes how much it's like a cliff face rather than a peak.‬ Not for these two in particular. I'm just thinking aloud. Sorry, let's call it the ‬‪Susan Sarandon effect when Oscar is like The End. Mabe I'm only thinking of her because she used to favor the peekaboo cleavage that Kate is blessing us with.‬ It's for ladies that are proud of their racks.‬ 
Kurt:  ‪yes. more on Madonna later‬ 
Nathaniel: HA! So when I was assembling that "previous winners" lineup i kept wanting to including Laura Linney, Glenn Close and Julianne Moore but then had to remember. Statue Repellent!‬ 
 

Kurt:  ‪Poor Julianne...

Psychotic Agent, Silent Actress, Perpetual Loser, Perfection, YELLOWWWWWWWW

MORE AFTER THE JUMP

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"I feel comfortable using legal jargon in everyday life..."

I object!"

Red Carpet: MTV Girls, Super Empathy, and Lively Nudity

Previously on red carpet lineup Nathaniel and Jose discussed Cannes gowns and Kurt and Nathaniel chatted about the annual Met Gala. In today's episode, Nathaniel and Jose discuss the MTV Movie Awards fashion.

Nathaniel: ‬ ‪This time we're starting a bit "off cinema" -- although calling the MTV Movie Awards cinema related is a stretch -- for a brief look at the CDFA Awards held this week in New York City.‬

Lady Gaga, Lady Watts, Lady Sevigny, Housewife Marcia

Jose: ‬ ‪Wait, is that the thing where Gaga is? I assumed this lineup was the MTV awards too. Ha. I obviously missed both ceremonies

Nathaniel:‬ ‪Yep. The Council of Fashion Designers honored the industry's biggest designers as is their habit. But they also gave an award to Lady Gaga. Isn't giving Gaga a fashion award kind of like giving Angelina Jolie a Fame Award. Like...

"Congratulations: You are You!!!"

Jose: ‬ ‬ ‪She should receive fashion awards at the Cattle Salesman Council, not the fashion council.‬
She's always so coy about it, like "oh, you think I'm special?", I hate that. ‪Despite my love of McQueen I personally think that you should be able to "wear" fashion and these awards should go to people who encourage that‬

Nathaniel:‬ I hesitated to include Gaga in the Lineup o Actresses because lord knows the woman CANNOT act (see: music videos and SNL). I wish so bad that she'd make a movie because people would finally stop kicking Madonna for her shaky thespian tendencies. But I have a larger point to make.‬

Which is that if you're attending such a thing, shouldn't you do what Chloe Sevigny and Marcia Cross are doing and NOT what Naomi Watts is doing? Something eyepopping or you might as well be wallpaper.

Jose: To be honest, I'd rather have my Naomi fix in this wallflower-ish type, cause she's made some hideous choices in the past‬. Remember that dress she wore to the Oscars that made her look like King Kong had recently attacked her? This is careless copying, though. This is essentially what Gwynnie wore to the Oscars this year, but short and shapeless.

Nathaniel:‬ And bland. Here's the thing with blond actresses that are not particularly unusually eye-popping in some way. They're like grains of sand on the beach. There are millions of others with whom you are indistinguishable unless you're giving it a little something extra.‬ Naomi overcompensates onscreen sometimes by ACTING but undercompensates on the red carpet.

Jose: I say let's pull a Freaky Friday on Gaga and Naomi.

Nathaniel: !!! Wonderful idea.

Jose: Gaga looking human would be more surprising than anything else.

Nathaniel: Totes. I keep waiting for her to have her own "Live to Tell" moment where suddenly she's just in a simple flowery dress with pretty hair. That was SO shocking at the time for Madonna.‬ That's got to happen eventually.

Jose: ‬ ‬ ‪I'd love to see what she wore when she was just plain old "Gaga from the block", even Madge is down to earth now (in Louis Vuitton of course)‬

Nathaniel: I like that Chloe's top feels rubbery and sentient and winged... I suddenly picture her as Professor X's love Empress Lilandra of the Shi'Ar but I have mutants on the brain.

Jose: That makes total sense. She wouldn't even need CGI to display weird powers.‬

Lilandra and Dazzler of late 70s/early 80s X-Men fame

Nathaniel:‬ ‪Heh. I know I've said this very recently in another red carpet post but everyone is conspiring to make me think of 70s DAZZLER from the X-Men lately.

Jose: ‬ ‪Marcia looks stunning. I'm pretty sure she's looked the same since the 70's, maybe she's a mutant herself‬.

Nathaniel: These sparkly disco jumpsuits! There needs to be an X-Men Origins: Dazzler movie to fully bring back the 1970s. Fashion is trying to take us there anyway.‬

Jose: And I'd love to see Cross in a catfight with Jennifer Lawrence. ‪I say, let's put 'em all in rollerskates and have ourselves a Xanadu-Men: First Class!‬

Nathaniel: Damnit. Now I have to go masturbate.

Jose: LOL. It's too early for that here.

Nathaniel: Self-love knows no time zones!‬ Speaking of masturbatory.... let's move on to the MTV Twilight Awards.‬

Jose: ‬ ‬ ‪Ew, fine.

Nathaniel:‬ ‪This first lineup of lovely ladies demonstrates to us that it's A) summer at last B) short skirts are in.‬

Emma Watson, Mini-Dakota, Emma Stone, KStew, Queen Reese

Jose:  ‬ ‪I remember the time when the fine people of the planet voted for movies like Scream and Lord of the Rings in those awards, heck they even gave Nicole Kidman a trophy for Moulin Rouge! when Oscar ignored her‬

Nathaniel:‬ ‪I was just talking about this to a friend yesterday at lunch. You sound like an old curmudgeon when you say: back in my day they used to vote for good movies! but in this case it's not nostalgia, it's plain-ass facts.

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MTV Movie Awards ~ The Live Blog of Indifference

9:00 Black Swan and 127 Hours and Kings Speech jokes. oh my. My television is a time machine. Or MTV is. Jason Sudeikis made a joke about the set being Lady Gaga's bedroom. But I think... no... this is more like how I imagine Spider-Man Turn off the Dark set to look like.

Eva Mendes has been Teem Edward the whole time.

9:12 They've already told four Team Jacob / Team Edward jokes? That's like one every 3 minutes.

"My heart says Jacob. But my weiner says Edward. My balls are indifferent."

I'm scared to ask but...

poll by twiigs.com

9:13 Best Male Performance goes to Robert Pattinson who doesn't even do a good job of acting "indifferently cool / bemused". Jesse Eisenberg could act that while acting 7 other emotions simultaneously with an undercurrent of self loathing. These awards are always stupid.

9:27 Three people we like at once on MTV. It's kind of a rare occurence!

Crazy Stupid Indifference To This Awards ShowSteve Carell made a joke about horny dolphins. Emma and Ryan are both so naturally funny that

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