S**g You!

Jose here. Remember how last year the Academy got rid of the Best Original Song performances and in the process denied us the chance to drool at Marion Cotillard's sexy striptease and, eventual winner, Ryan Bingham's dreamy, country sensitivity?

Well, this year they won't deny us the pleasure of making fun of the corny staging for the song contenders (though they dared to deny us the presence of Cher!) and they've brought back the performances in an all-star lineup set to include Oscar winners Randy Newman and Gwyneth Paltrow.

Newman will perform "We Belong Together" (sadly not the epic Mariah ballad) from Toy Story 3, while Paltrow will sing "Coming Home" from Country Strong. Gwyn has a big month ahead and is also set to perform at the Grammys this weekend where she will duet with Cee-lo Green and, wait for this, The Muppets... The music academy is probably terrified Cee-lo and G.Pa will let out one of the infamous expletives in "Fuck You" and are using the Muppets as some sort of insurance. But in a time when Lady Gaga wears Kermit for cocktails isn't it safe to say that no puppets are sacred?

Joining Gwyn and Randy will be Mandy Moore and Alan Menken who will perform "I See the Light" from Tangled and Oscar winner A.R. Rahman and Florence Welch, filling in for Dido, to sing "If I Rise" from 127 Hours. 
If there's someone who can bring some life into that tepid song it has got to be Florence (at least her gown is sure to be a sight to behold)

Also, now that I think about it, we have Newman, Rahman, Gwyn and Menken. So, wait, is this the first time an all Oscar winning lineup of performers will do the nominated songs? I'm sure there's a random Oscar statistic here waiting to happen. Can anyone think of another year when that happened? 

Chris Evans as Captain America

A few pictures have made the rounds but the new Empire magazine has several new good ones.

The strange thing is that this particular picture doesn't look a thing like Chris Evans to me, though the other photos are totally Evansy. My point is this: my new column is up at Towleroad where I briefly run this and some other thats. Here's to specificity!

Kristen Stewart as Snow White? Quick, Grab an Apple.

If there's anything good to say about Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland and its billion dollar gross, it's that it might make Hollywood a safer place for female-driven magical tales. Disney's Tangled and its $449 million gross (and rising) enthusiastically seconds the notion that fairy tales and old timey stories aren't passe. Fairy tales are a good well to draw from: they're familiar and thus as easy to market as any hit franchise and yet they're flexible and thus of interest to artists who can bring fresh takes to old stories.

Kristen Stewart and Snow White... with birds.

Initially the prospect of Snow White and The Hunstman thrilled. It got even more mouth-watering when Charlize Theron and Viggo Mortensen were named as the Evil Queen and the Hunstman, respectively. But now that we have our Snow White in Kristen Stewart, the apple seems poisoned prematurely.Stewart's performance as Joan Jett in The Runaways proved that she could in fact play something beyond Self-Indulgently Mopey Girl (Twilight + Into the Wild + Adventureland) but playing a naive sweet dreamy girl suddenly thrust into danger because she's just too beautiful to live? That's such an about face it may be less a healthy stretch and more a case of getting strapped to the rack. Stewart's edge and performance style seem radically wrong for Snow White unless they're just using the name as a jumping off point.

Reinterpreting fairy tales can be fun, provocative, artistic and lucrative but don't you have to maintain some semblance of connection to the material? 

What's in the box? A gift to moviegoers or something...awful.Plus there's the small matter of "the fairest of them all". This is not meant as a knock against Kristen Stewart who is obviously an attractive woman but I think few would worry for Charlize Theron's ego in that particular department up against practically anyone.

We wont know if this particular Snow White is a poisoned apple to moviegoers until 2012, but if it is there's still hope for the fairest of them all to find her prince and defeat the vain queen. Two other Snow White movies are also in development. Tarsem Singh's Brothers Grimm: Snow White (with Julia Roberts a possibility as the evil queen) would undoubtedly be something to gawk at at the very least. The other one is Snow and the Seven which Michael Arndt (Little Miss Sunshine, Toy Story 3) is scripting for Disney. One suspects not all of these movies will happen but with three competing Snow White themed movies and (what, seven!?) new Wizard of Oz themed movies, plus that Red Riding Hood thing with Amanda Seyfriend and maybe Tim Burton's take on Sleeping Beauty focusing on Maleficent, the Teens is going to be a very fairytale heavy decade if this keeps up.

How I Feel / How I Wish I Felt

As demonstrated vibrantly by Mr. James Franco.

I'm not going to have to saw off my arm but I feel like I'm going to have to make some major sacrifice (gulp) because things just aren't going well. Long story short: I'm off my game. I never fall while rock climbing and cave exploring!   I want to be happy smily mischievous Franco instead.

HOW ARE YOU?

i.e. open thread. what's on your mind? Are you trapped and panicky or happy and confident?

Links

MUBI Maria Scheider of the infamous Last Tango in Paris has passed away. RIP.
My New Plaid Pants The Golden Trouser awards continue to be completely amusing. I'm totally LOL'ing.
Scanners "The Otherworldy Terrain of Fish Tank."

Off Screen Antics
Boy Culture explains why "Femme Fatale" is a terrible title for a Britney Spears record