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You always win when you a) look this good and b) have this much of a sense of humor about yourself and c) are willing to shuck off your lame franchise* to work with Steven Soderbergh on your semi-biographical male stripper movie**.
P.S. I don't actually ever catch Saturday Night Live. Were there skits worth seeing this time?
P.P.S. * To be fair to G.I. Joe 2: Retaliation, it does seem like it might have a sense of humor about its own ridiculousness, which the first film was sorely lacking.
P.P.P.S. ** 144 days until Magic Mike loses his pants for moviegoers everywhere.
I was trying to make Sunday the ultimate day of productivity but finally I succumbed to laziness/excitement and just tweeted through the Superbowl. Or, well, half of it at any rate en route to Madonna's much awaited Half Time show.
So let's relive the whole experience right here (in case you aren't following me on Twitter and if you aren't, why the hell not?) since I am too lazy to write up a whole article and there are movie ads and movie references to discuss. Though strangely Madonna's whole Cleopatra inspired entrance didn't occur to me till just now. I was too excited to process anything (still reeling from meeting her).
Below are tweets from me and others.
my entire adult life I've heard the Oscars referred to as "the gay superbowl"... so I'm trying to watch 'the straight Oscars for the 1st time
so far it's really boring. they didn't open w' a comedy routine. no beautiful gowns. you can't even see the celebrity faces. (Helmets. Boo!)
Tom Brady=the prettiest football star of all time! That's an assumption but a confident one.
I don't like 'The Straight Oscars' ... too many ugly old men, not ANY pretty actresses #GaySuperbowlOnly21DaysAway
@StevenMCuevas: If the Oscars at the Gay Superbowl and Rooney Mara's dad owns the Giants, does this mean Rooney wins an Oscar?
One of many incomprehensible Battleship images that could be Transformers cutouts
@ZeitchikLAT: thank you Battleship, for bringing back large-scale, incoherent school of movie advertising.
Since there weren't enough prizes in the world for Claire "Temple Grandin" Danesand Kate "Mildred" Winslet, who will be our next "Her, again?" awards gobbler?
Will it be Nicole Kidman in Hemingway & Gellhorn vs. Julianne Moore in Game Change? The last time they faced off in awards season (2002) they were actually co-stars and Nic' won for The Hours (Julianne losing for Far From Heaven and The Hours albeit in two separate categories) . Or will they both be trumped by someone we're not thinking of yet when the Emmys role around in September 2012 and this whole awards circus begins anew?
In this corner, Nicole Kidman as Martha Gelhorn in Hemingway and Gellhorn...
Yes- Philip Kaufman is directing and he's made some amazing films in the past like The Right Stuff and Henry & June. The last time Nicole Kidman lowered her voice this noticeably to play a ballsy writer, she won the Oscar.
No - Isn't there a danger of this gorgeous Star strolling through the rubble of war reminding people of Australia?They didn't much like that one. Four minute trailers always have the problem of making the oncoming product seem overstuffed, unduly episodic and desperate for attention. "And then this happened. And then this happened. And then this happened. And then this happened. Interested? No?" Uh... [Cue: flop sweat, razzle dazzle] Uh... Oh... okay the first part is shit but the second part is REALLY nifty! Ok.... she'd go ♫. I'd go ♫. we'd gooooo. ♫"
Maybe So - The success of this may well rest on the chemistry between Clive Owen and Kidman. Do they have it? And can Clive Owen work his way around the very vivid recent memory of Corey Stoll in this role via Midnight in Paris?
In this corner Julianne Moore as Sarah Palin in Game Change...
Yes - It might be fun to watch Juliannne Moore attempt biopic mimicry because it's not the sort of thing she's known for. And at this point we'll take anything that might win her an award. Has there ever been an actress as major who hasn't won any major prizes? She wins nothing. No Emmys, No Globes, No Oscars. No - "Fair and balanced" has been wiped clean of all meaning ever since Fox News took over the world, but where will this film fall on the scale of fair representation? On the one hand, it might be super to watch a take-down of Sarah Palin. But then again, the target is just so easy so it might feel way too cheap shot-like. On the other, excessive humanization of seemingly soulless political monsters through the magic of warm actresses (see also The Iron Lady) comes with its own queasiness, the humanization of dehumanizing idealogies. Maybe So - Will anyone be ready to sit through more Sarah Palin when she's been so torturously around ever since 2008? And can Juli work his way around the very vivid recent memory of Tina Fey in this role via Saturday Night Live?
"I have to win this thing. I so don't want to go back to Alaska!"What kind of bet are you laying down?
Better yet, do you see awards attention beyond our leading ladies for these HBO Movies? Both have amazing casts. Hemingway & Gellhorn is giving us Clive Owen, Parker Posey, Robert Duvall, David Straithairn, Rodrigo Santoro and Molly Parker (in awards bait position of scorned wife). Game Plan is giving us Woody Harrelson, Ed Harris and Sarah Paulson and a ton of others in small roles.
Be brave in the comments and make some Emmy calls now!
The global love of superpowered young men hasn't even begun to decline as the star-less Chronicle, about three teenagers who develop uncanny powers opened at #1 for Superbowl weekend. It almost doubled its production budget on opening weekend. Harry Potter himself Daniel Radcliffe had to settle for second place with The Woman in Black but that's probably because he's no longer the most powerful wizard on earth.
Chronicle is unkind to cars.
BAKERS DOZEN (Estimates) 01 CHRONICLE $22 new 02 THE WOMAN IN BLACK $21 new 03 THE GREY $9.5 (cum. $34.7) 04 BIG MIRACLE $8.5 new 05 UNDERWORLD AWAKENING $5.6 (cum. $54.3) 06 ONE FOR THE MONEY $5.2 (cum. $19.6) 07 RED TAILS $5 ($41.3) 08 THE DESCENDANTS $4.6 (cum. $65.5) 09 MAN ON A LEDGE $4.5 (cum. $14.7) 10 EXTREMELY LOUD AND INCREDIBLY CLOSE $3.9 (cum. $26.7) 11 CONTRABAND $3.4 (cum. $26.7) (cum. $62.1) 12 THE ARTIST $2.5 (cum. $20.5) 13 BEAUTY & THE BEAST 3D $2.4 rerelease
Someone's wearing lifts... Janet McTeer is 6'1". Daniel Radcliffe is 5'5"
• The Descendants may soon surpass Sideways to become Alexander Payne's biggest hit yet. It's just 6 million behind it now.
• A Separation has crossed the 1 million mark which is a big deal these days for a foreign film. Hopefully they'll keep expanding since they've just been adding a tiny number of screens each week.
• The Artist is slowing down a bit in wide release but it's already tap danced its way clear of being called "lowest grossing Best Picture winner ever" (should it win) since it's a bigger hit than The Hurt Locker.That said anything that wins this year beyond The Help is going to end up in the 10 lowest grossers list. The Atlantic did some tallying and adjusting for inflation a year ago and they claim that these are the lowest grossing Best Pictures ever. All of them are superpower free (unless you count Javier Bardem's "Chigurh" as a supernatural evil force which maybe you can):
Well Michael Fassbender does have a lot to worry about. How the hell is he going to follow up 2011? Fassy may only have two films in theaters this year (Haywire already released. Prometheus is next) but what will 2013 hold beyond Twelve Years A Slave, his third collaboration with Steve McQueen? Stay tuned.
Monday, February 6, 2012 at 10:26AM 
